my dreamland, my own

yessss... I'm a dreamer.

I just loooove to dream...

whenever people telling me long, boring stories

in a boring meeting

in a boring presentation

while walking

while driving

while sleeping...

I just love it.
I dream about...
fashion...alwaysss thinking of themes and styles that I'd love and like to try on
couture...owning couturiere stuff, and shopping at like, Saks Fifth Avenue like nobody's business
interior design...like how to decorate my car/room/house or even designing my own future dream house!
travel...to other places, meeting cute guys in snow..hahaha
fantasy...like having wings, i love black feathery ones, kinda like a dark angel, and flying around

and the other dreams, like
revenge....crushing the face of someone I hate, pushing them off cliffs, or setting a hungry vicious Rottweiler on them, errr...dont get me started
people make over...like imagining the people in front of me with different styles and clothes, what should be changed, what should not be worn in public eye etc.
crazyyy...like, if i was stuck in a situation that i'd really like to get out of...i started to dream that if I could, I would be a transforming werewolf...like i would be all like, "i dont wanna change", "someone stop me!" but...there nothing anyone can do, and i keep transforming, claws growing out of my nails, fangs popping out my teeth, i'd get all furry and fury, trashing around, destroying all the things in the midst, glass shattered, walls rumbling down, floor shaking, people running and screaming around, maybe i could catch someone or two (maybe that boring person who made me start daydreaming, or someone i dislike)....... oh yeah, that was fun, wasnt it?!!


so yeah, when life gets hard, I love to run away to my dreams land, where everything is just right!

Gimme some time

when I fell down....
Please allow me some time to cry, to be sad, to dwell in my sorrow
Please allow me some time to lick my wounds
Please allow me some time to heal

Before I pick myself up

Human make mistakes, but is the mistakes all you can see?

I want more

U see, my life's actually pretty boring.

When I was younger, I always dream about travelling around the world, and living in a bustling big metropolis.
Wearing couture clothes, walking down the lane with fashionable people along fashion boutiques. Oh, my dream house was kinda like, an apartment overseeing the city (probably on the 30th floor) with a huge glass window, decorated in a modern x classic theme.

and I'd love to dine in a fine dining restaurant (especially when I just watched Hell's Kitchen!). and I've always imagining me, playing in the snow, wearing lovely coats and boots. then meeting guys in romantic scenes like in the movies and all those ooey gooey love stories.

but now I'm stuck here. being bored. my dreams remained being dreams. reality sucks! I'm just a plain Jane. I do get self conscious and insecure sometimes. and of course, in those times, I'd envy people (e.g. Gossip Girls) and couldnt help but to wonder "if only I was like her"

and what should I do about that? I guess I need to manage my finance better. And I need to be more ambitious, and I need to further my studies. I must grow up more.

I ate kids for breakfast

figuratively, of course!

Yup, I'm like a month plus already in the paeds department. I used to kinda dislike kids. ever since I could remember. I had tried liking them when I saw all females are like mandatorily born with a motherly instinct and I used to think all girls think kids are adorable. But yeah, I was tired from trying, and I had fully accepted the fact that I don't like kids. I think cats are cuter than kids. I hate it when they cry/scream/throw tantrums. I hate nappies, drool and vomit and all that. and I was scared to hold them because they look super fragile and I could drop them anytime.

but..now, I think I can somewhat accept that some babies are cute. I still think that their crying can drive anyone nuts though. But, being in paeds really teaches me how to be patient and observant (because kids cant really tell whats wrong with them). and I can hold a baby now, and all that. My respect to mothers, they're really superwomen to go through motherhood.

anyways, yeah, I'm starting to like some kids now, and paeds can be fun sometimes (maybe its just a Stockholm Syndrome for me :P). I love working in SCN. I'm a bit dreading the time when I'll be going to paeds medical ward next month..huhu

anyway, I should be getting some sleep now, sleep is to us like the Ring to gollum..haha~ yup, its precioussss~!! so yeah, nite2~

where is my fantasy land?

Reality is SOOO harsh, sometimes I feel like I can't take it! how nice if I could just cast away my responsibilities and run far, far away and be FREE!!

If only life is THAT easy!!!!

current mood: melancholy, stressed, hopeless

my diet plan

I've been watching the biggest loser and its just SO amazing that they could lose like 28 pounds in a mere week! i sooo want that! so I've been "determined" to set up my diet plan!

food:
1. no fast food! (maybe just once in 2 weeks XD)
2. reduce fried food (gotta buy an oven so i can just grill/bake instead of frying)
3. reduce carbs (remove as many white bread and rice from diet as possible)
4. eat in smaller plates to prevent over eating, and NO seconds!

and exercise! at least 3-4 times per week, at least 30 minutes each time!

I'm SO determined to lose weight! Ganbaru yo! \^o^/

coffee or tea?

"would you like some coffee or tea or me?"

the best pick-up line ever! (the cheesiest of course) XD

day dream

I just woke up from an afternoon nap. I dreamed of trying on a white shirt at a mall. its not even cute or worth trying on, like its really simple. i dunno why i took it in my dream. but come to think of it, i dont have many white shirts. so wanna get one!

I've spied some shoes that I cant stop thinking about, 1 pair at mixit, 2 at momoe and 1 of Fila (this one is just SOO comfy and its on 50% sale and my size is the only one left - if thats not a sign of fate, then i dunno what it is XD). problem is, they're all black, wonder which one should i get. or even two? one can never have one too many shoes, ne?

どうしよう???!

yesterday

i went out with Noem, to celebrate him getting a good result in SPM, so I bought him 3 PS2 games! ok, that his element, then, I brought him to mine, so I went shopping for his clothes~ XD

i wanted to get him some clothes as the last time he got his clothes is like, months? maybe a year ago? >.< so yeah, helped him choose some shirts and a pair of jeans. its kinda hard shopping with him, kinda like

me: ok, look around and choose whatever you like
him: ok, but i dunno where to start
me: do you like this shirt?
him: hum... i guess, i dunno
me: how bout this one? its simple and it looks nice
him: uh.... ok, i guess
me: oh for god's sake, just choose whatever you like!

XD so yeah, though its quite hard, its still pretty fun! and we got a nice pair of jeans for just RM25! how awesome is that?

then, treat him to some pizzas, then bought him some big apple doughnuts. then i sent him back. he's staying with my other brother's in-laws. and I stayed to play with Aya-chan! she's SOOO cute and she grows up SO fast! she knows how to make cute faces, shake her head and clap her hands when you ask! she's SOO brilliant. I felt really sad when I had to leave the house! I miss her already! I want to visit her again next week. They're staying until the end of the month before going back home in Mukah. I wish Aya could just live with me, though it'd be freakingly hard to take care of a baby XD.
isnt she SOOOO adorable???!! X3
all this family stuff is making me a little bit homesick-y.. hum..

confessions of a shopaholic - SOOO me! XD

I've finished reading this book this morning, and no surprises! I'd TOTALLY understand what she's going through, though I don't have credit cards at the moment. I thank GOD for that, dunno whatever would happen to me if I own a credit card or two XD. but seriously, this book really epitomized a shopaholic!

Why I shop?
1. its TOTALLY the cutest thing ever, I'd DIE if I dont own it
2. its SALE
3. i swear i wont shop for a month (NEVER works XD)
4. i deserve to treat myself (yeah, like for not shopping for like 2 weeks or so?)
5. life's too short without that top/shoes/whatever
6. im bored, i need something new
7. had a long day, need retail therapy
8. i passed a cloth on display and its begging me to buy it XD
9. i peeled myself off something, patted my back for the success of resisting the temptation but found myself thinking about the thing for days until i finally went back to the store and get it.

and the list goes on and on, shopaholics always, always find reasons (more like excuses!) to shop. sometimes I even like, pass a freaking furniture shop or whatever and found me asking myself, "is there something i need in there?", and it feels weird if i went in a store and coming out empty-handed.

its really troublesome, with my student life, im living off of my scholarship and allowances from my parents. thankfully scholarship for medical students is the highest! hehe. I SO can't wait to get my own paycheck and like, "oh, i've just spent $1000 for the clothes and shoes..hmmm... its okay, i'll have more money next month!" dreaming is sooo fun! XD

anyways, I really need to exercise some self-control now. i should NOT not go shopping, but i think i can reduce it for now. wish me luck! ^.^

Teresa - REVAMPED

hola~! I'm here to show off my latest creAtion!
Teresa - Revamped!!
My design inspiration is from the glam lolita look. It just hit me one day, and I went "lets just make this happen!". I've got it all in pink shades, with feathers, laces, ribbons, sequins and some nets. and the magic happened~! ^^

I'd like to thank all my friends, who've been so supportive of my creAtion (yup, you have to say it "cree-AY-shun" XD), thanks for all the compliments and not saying that I'm manic or something for doing this outrageous thing out of sudden! XD

So yeah, I'm VERY happy with the final result. and I've proved to myself that I CAN do this. I can dream, design and make it work! I love me~

XOXO,
Liyana-chan

Venus~!

In my search for my car names, I think I want to give an astronomical name because I love the astronomical magic XD.

So, I immediately decided to name it Venus, after the planet of love, and the surface of Venus is volcanic, so its hot and fierce. SO yeah, its Venus, my lovely car. She's hot and fierce! X3

Girl's night out with Zeal

Huh..internet was down for the last few days. So, I'm updating about what has happened on Sunday. Last Sunday, Zeal, Mel and I went out to the Spring. I wanted to go out with Zeal coz its the last day she'd be here, she has gone to KL for her graduation this week. So yeah, we went windows shopping and of course, like usual, ended up with real shopping. I bought an L shirt and a tank top with a really loooong ribbon behind it X3.

So yeah, we had LOADS of fun! I haven't been able to go for a REAL shopping or anything for the past 2 months or so. What do you expect? They don't really have shopping malls or any place interesting in Bintangor. So, I was really having fun, I was like a recovering alcoholic who has been offered drink and I had craving!

We had photoshoots while trying on some clothes. I love the black coat with the furry hoodie. I called it the rockstar coat because its black, it has a hoodie, it has fur, it has golden studs. I love it! I did consider buying it XD. Then we had ice-creams, then we went windows shopping some more, then we went home. Its been really fun! ^^

getting ready

2 days to go for the departure from this town. we're leaving on friday. some part of me cant wait to go back to kuching, and some part of me is pretty scared coz we're gonna have the exam shortly after we're back in kuching.

the journey's gonna be long. i think it'll take like 5 hours or so. its gonna be really exciting even though it'll be reeeaaally tiring. i hope all will go well on the journey.

and as for preparation for the journey, i've washed and waxed my car, totally by myself. i did it on sunday morning. so its really gleaming and hot right now. eventhough the process of waxing the car was really, really tiring! but its totally worth it. my lovely car is looking fierce!! oh, i havent got a name for my lovely car. im still thinking of the perfect name~~ ^.^

look at how hot it is, gleaming and looking fabulous and fierce and sexy~~ (gosh, i really am in love with my car! X3)

awesome dream!

i had a really awesome dream last night. I was FLYING~ i had to wave my arms like i was swimming though. and i was inside a building that looked like a hotel and i was flying from floor to floor with no apparent reasons. but its still awesome. i felt so free and all.

i've had some other flying dreams before. once, i was able to fly with the music. like i could fly only if there's any music playing. i kinda remember my self answering to "how do you do that?" from other people, i said, "i dunno, its kinda easy for me, just go with the flow of the music"! XD. i wish it was THAT easy!

and another one, i was a vampire, and i was flying at the dark sky at a starless night. it was so dark, and i felt the wind on my face, and my beautiful black dress flapping around me while i was flying. this was awesome too. like i felt so free and so powerful.

flying is so awesome!

nonoy desu~

hum..im supposed to be studying forensics for this friday's exam but i just dont feel like it and i thought i'd just update this bloggie.

i didnt do much today, sleep in till 9.30am coz there's no class, then got online, downloaded some anime and j-drama (X3) then read my notes for couple of hours, then took a nap, then watch TV, then now, sitting here, getting on my laptop when im supposed to be studying (feels like konata >.<). kk then, i'll get back to studying after finishing this blog.

i came across an old friend's blog just now. it made me recall back our memories together and my memories with my primary school best friends, my high school best friends, and my matriculation best friends. i met a lot of people, really cool people i'd love to hang out with together again. i met Zaila, my primary school best friend when i was in Sibu Hospital. I was just wanting to borrow a fundoscope from the medical ward, and there i met her. it has been like, 10 years since we last met. i felt like i dunno her anymore. its just that, its so easy to severe a relationship with someone, when its kinda hard to build it at the first time. maybe its different with other people, but its kinda hard for me to make friends, to gain trust from others and to accept someone, so yeah i really value every relationship in my life. it felt kinda weird that people who had heard my deepest secrets, who was with me breaking school rules, comforting me when i was scared or sad and joking together and teasing others, are now just people whom i know only by name.

is it really true no matter how short our existence is in other people's lives, we make a difference?

how i long for the past, like if only we could just continue what we had last time. yeah, time takes away a lot of things from us. loads of things are forsaken just like that.

i hope i wont have to do that to my current friends. i love you guys! (emotional mode)