Thursday, May 27, 2010

a day in the BORED me!

my daily schedule:

a.m:
1. sleep in till whenever I want
2. eat breakfast in front of TV
3. watch TV till my eyeballs go dry
4. play computer games if there's nothing nice on TV
5. eat snacks
6. oh, helped with laundry

afternoon
1. watch TV
2. play computer games
3. eat lunch while reading Harry Potter books
4. watch some more TV
5. nap

pm
1. watch TV (officially a couch potato)
2. eat snacks
3. spend time with family
4. eat dinner
5. stay up while watching whatever there is on the TV

so yeah, basically thats all I do. there's nothing to go out to in Mukah, with a slow internet connection, I've been feeling lazy to go online. also, only 5% of Mukah people have decent fashion sense. even I dont feel like coordinating much of my wardrobe. hum..kinda like showing Picasso paintings to cave men (lol, as if I'm such a masterpiece :P). anyway, yeah, its been really boring. everyone will be out to work or school during the day, leaving me quite alone in the house. however, having the luxury to just relax and spend some time with my family, its priceless~

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Venus went to the car clinic

For the last few days, my car, Venus had been sick! Whenever I brake, there's a screeeeeching sound, which was really loud and annoying.

So, I had to bring her to the Proton edar service center. So, I had to wake up early because my appointment was at 8am. I got there, talked to the person there about my complaints, and she said I had to wait. So, I waited... and waited... and waited! Then someone called me telling me that they had to replace "whatever" and "whatever" so it'd take a longer time and that I had to wait till noon! @.@ So, I read every newspapers they have there, every magazine, drank 3 cups of tea with a sandwich that they have prepared, and walked around looking at cars. Then I got really bored and sleepy I took a nap on the sofa!

So yeah, after 4 freaking hours waiting, I was told that Venus has undergone some operations and that she's safe now. Then, I was told again that they had to replace the brake drum and cylinder and started to explain stuff about the mechanism that sounded gibberish to me. lol

Anyway, anatomy of a brake! (yes, I'm super bored and I googled this)

This is the brake drum:


and this is the more detailed anatomy of the wheel cylinder:


credits: images taken from here


So yeap, glad that she's ok now~~~ ^^

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

moving melancholy

After passing the exam and such, we've been really busy! needed to pay the college fee, fill in and pass up our Malaysian Medical Council (MMC) form (which needed to be certified and everything), then packing, sending off cars, saying farewells etc etc

Through these moments in this past few days, its really sad to be saying good bye to this place. Despite having some issues or grumblings, this place has been our shelter and there are lots and lots of fond memories.

I just can't help but think about:

1. The Past
Like, all the things we've gone through. The first year when I first came here, clueless and full of hope. Meeting new people, making new friends, going through classes and labs. Same goes to whe we're in 2nd year where we learned more about diseases and stuff.. and not forgetting our clinical year, we've been posted to lots of places; Sibu, Bintangor, Sarikei, Serian, we grumbled a bit for being sent off to those little places, but gosh, we've learned a LOT. and memories with my beloved bffs and housemates. and my AAAAWESOME batchmates. we've gone through a lot, I'm really thankful to meet all of them, and without them, I just wont be here as I am right now. I'll always remember you guys, and I love youuuu!!


2. The Present
Like, here I am sitting on my desk, that I've been using since forever. The place I study, or surf the web, or watch movies while eating, or play games, or read books/comics/magazine. Yeah, this desk has lots of memories. and my bed, I've been sleeping on it since I was first year! and my closet which is full of my lovely clothes and is soon gonna be empty. and all the place in my house, and my small beloved faculty. The familiarity and ease of this place is getting eerily comforting, it just feels like I'm gonna stay here forever. Like, I'm gonna get back from class in the evening, sit in front of my desk like I usually do. or watch TV with my housemates, or doing laundry etc etc. I feel that its really weird that I'm gonna leave all of this behind.

3. The Future
Like, we're moving on with our lives. What's gonna happen to all of us? Will we stay in touch? I know life for us is gonna get tough. But I know these people are strong and we're gonna make it...somehow :D. yes, whatever it is, we'll face it. come what may!


Gosh, I reaally, reaaaally HATE good byes. I'm gonna miss this place, the people and the time we've had here. See you soon in graduation~ (aim: lose weight :P)

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Victory is sweet, darling~

OMG! The last 2 weeks have been the most stressful period of my life ever. Let me guide you through my journey in the Final Professional Examination of UNIMAS medical school.

Theory exam 3rd, 4th and 5th May 2010
Sitting in the auditorium, feeling the vast space with arranged tables and chairs, stillness in the air with some injection of fear. I was feeling shaky and jittery sitting in the cold chair, butt freezing off, breath felt like ice, having palpitations while waiting for the time to begin writing. During the exams, feeling like the gears in your brain moving like nuts, battling the frostbite your brain got and fighting the adrenaline from the stress. Sometimes, I felt like my brain was not functioning properly, like in OSCE, when I forgot the name of Tenckhoff catheter and just realizing it at the rest station, urgh! really frustrating.

6th-10th May
AAAAAAAAAARGH!! stress all the time. feeling crazy and paranoid. I kept on asking "what if I dunno how to answer", "what if I didnt make it?", "what if I'm inadequate to be a doctor?" etc etc. and we kept on wondering what cases, which examiners we're gonna get. and really frustrating when I couldn't recall the things that I've read. Also increased in consumption of food due to stress :P

11th May
I couldn't sleep the day before, feeling crazy like I couldnt face the examiners etc etc. Then, for the short case, I got really nice set of examiners - Dr. Wong SY, a physician from SGH, Prof Hafiz, an orthopedic surgeon from UIA, and our new paediatrics lecturer. I got rheumatoid hands examination, a lipoma and atrial septal defect. I'm thankful that I got nice examiners and nice findings. though I did forgot some steps or said something gibberish, the examiners were really nice to help me through the exam.

12th May
Long case! the biggest contributor of marks for our clinical exam. since I've got medical, ortho and paeds for short case, I was gonna get either O&G or surgery. turned out I got a surgery case. the patient was a Bidayuh lady who couldnt speak any other language, and her husband was the main informer. since I couldnt speak Bidayuh, its really frustrating to get a complete history. and since my patient has a long history of the disease, its reaaally hard to get a full story. Embarrassingly, I got too frustrated because the history alone had taken too much time, so I cried when the nurse reminded me that 30 minutes had gone. 1-2 minutes wasted some more because some of the invigilators had to come in to calm me down. so, I wiped my tears and tried just as hard as I could to take as much history I could. the husband was pretty shocked to see me crying so he then, took his job seriously and started telling me everything. the presentation pretty good. though I stumbled on some words like "right colonic artery" or "chorioembryogenic antigen". gosh, so embarrassing when I realized that!

12th May 2010 (evening)
Dr. Azani, the exam coordinator gathered us all to announce some people who needed to take reassessment exams and told us that some of us didnt make it!!!!! omg! thats the scariest part ever! that night I couldnt sleep well.

today (13th May 2010)

(taken from Hen's blog)
OMG, SCARIEST day EVER! the ceremony started with our Dean's speech, it felt like forever before he started to announce the results. btw, the results were announced one by one and we had to go up the stage to take the unimas letter. its really nerve wrecking! praying like crazy for your name to be called. thinking of worst case scenarios, and our tears were so cheap.

and when my name was called, its just the most amazing feeling ever. I couldnt stop smiling all the way up the stage. some people cried when their names were called. those were tears of joy~ then, when all the results were announced, we scattered, hugging and crying with each other, congratulating the new doctors. the elated feeling was sooo good. felt like all the stress, all the hard work was so rewarding.

then, the fun part began, taking pics with all our beloved lecturers, examiners and comrades~ and then we ate.

and now, I'm sitting here, doing nothing. Feels kinda weird that all the games and movies looked so tempting when I was studying and yet now I felt lazy and they're not so interesting anymore.

Oh, btw, its a really weird and surreal feeling to know that now, you're a doctor. Doctor Liyana, Liyana Bujang M.D...

hm.. I could get use to this :P

Thursday, May 6, 2010

I don't want to but I want it

I don't wanna go to exams! but I need it to get my M.D.

I don't wanna go through it.

I want the time to go slower so I can postpone the stress or maybe gimme some more time to get ready (though the truth is, its too late now).

I want the time to go faster so I can get over this like ripping a bandage off a wound.

I'm scared. I'm not the smartest person here, I know that. I did some stupid mistakes in my previous theory exams. I don't have the confidence to say that I would get over this. Everything is gonna be determined in the clinical exam 30 minutes for 3 short cases, 1 hour and a half for long case. Those 2 hours would be the scariest and the most crucial moment in my life. Its make or break. Do or die. Its the end of a beginning and stepping stone for my future life!

I don't wanna extend for 6 months and go through all of this. If indeed I had to extend (God forbid), maybe its true that I'm inadequate and maybe it'd teach me to be a better doctor. I really don't know. As a human, we can plan and do whatever we can, but God works in the mysterious way, that's true.