Hakuna matata

I really, really wish I could avoid this stress and just run away. The torture during peri-exam period is just SOOOO unbearable sometimes. Sometimes I day dream about running away to a stress free world, with no responsibility whatsoever, having fun, doing whatever the heck I would want, whenever I want without thinking of any consequences. Hakuna matata?

But then again, Simba had his own responsibility that he couldn't just ignore. Yup, I have the responsibility, for myself, my family, my country etc etc. Guess I should just try as hard as I can to prepare for the battle.

Man, I really hate myself right now =.=

Interview

Today, we had the interview with SPA people. This is so far my 2nd interview. My first one was for substitute teacher. My dad was the Education Officer in Mukah, so he said my sister and I should just go for this interview just for practice. and boy, was I pretentious. On answering why do you wanna be a teacher, I started answering stuff, like oh, I love knowledge and spreading the knowledge. I would also like to provide the future generation with quality education so that there will be a better future or perhaps achieving world peace yada, yada, yada.. Oh well, its a good practice I guess.

Anyway, my interviewer today was Dato' Salim, he's a nice guy and made my interview really casual and calming. My session was less than 5 minutes, I think. At first, he greeted me first! So I went in with a smile and all, then he asked me about my exam, am I nervous about the exam and the interview. Oh, the interview started with Bahasa Malaysia, however, he kinda mixed it with English sometimes , like he asked me "awak nervous ke pasal exam?" I was like (having read some blog about previous interview about the interviewee was told not to use mixed language, I was a bit apprehensive) *...omg, how am I gonna answer this...*, then I just blurted out, "adalah sikit-sikit" XD Then he told me that I shouldn't be nervous too much, and gave me tips about reducing nervousness.

Then, he wanted to assess my English, so we proceeded the rest of the exam with just English. First, I was asked about what specialty that I'm interested in pursuing. Then, he asked me about what current issue that I'm interested in. So I answered about the H1N1 pandemic stuff. Other than that, just little questions asking my co-curriculum, my parents' jobs, etc. Then he continued with assuring me that I'd pass this interview and that now I just gotta concentrate on passing my final professional exam, and then, the end. I said thank you and felt glad its over now, and thankful that I had such a nice interviewer ^^

Smell of wine and cheap perfume

I haven't watched Glee, but this song is amazing, and the lyric (Smell of wine and cheap perfume) was the one that caught my attention. Besides, the girl vocal's really amazing. Anyway, its kinda significant as in, its like the journey of my life. Beginning from "just a small town girl", now I'm here. Just this one biggest exam of my life which would decide my future. Really, really hope all of us can pass this. Don't stop believing!!

Oh, and tomorrow we're gonna have interviews with Suruhanjaya Perkhidmatan Awam (SPA). *sigh* Can't believe we have to look up political and organizational charts in amidst of our supermassive exam stress.

anytime, anywhere

I was still having some shaken feelings, and sometimes I had flashbacks about the previous accident (call me melodramatic, but its my first car crash, so its a pretty huge thing to me), when I heard from facebook that one of my ex-schoolmate had gotten into a terrible accident. She's currently in comatose condition, she had a serious head injury after an accident. Though I was not so close to her previously, its still a terrible news. Accidents can happen just anytime, anywhere to any person without any rational reason. A little thing can lead to a catastrophic end. Or sometimes someone suffered a terrible crash but walk out of it with not even a scratch on them. Some people say its luck, some say its fate.

Anyway, people who lived, should move on and appreciate life more.

my first road traffic accident!!!

Today's been a long, tiring day.. It all began when we planned to went out for sushi king bonanza today because its the last day of the promotion.

So, we went to Boulevard at around 4 pm. I was driving. it was just starting to rain very heavily at the time we entered boulevard. then, ate loads of sushi for like an hour. then went shopping a bit here and there.

then, we were going back. it was still raining even though not as heavy as before. Its just like any other after-rain weather, chilly and cool. we were planning on taking naps and all that. then, I drove up the flyover. I took the left lane as the car on the right side was going really slow. I remember glancing at the speedometer, and the needle was before 60 kmph. then! I saw a car lying in the middle of the road! the distance was quite far. I pressed the brake, however, my car skidded a bit and its not stopping at all. I remember crying out "omg, the brake's not working!!" and then Amy, Mel and I screamed as my car crashed into the car's back side. Its a really scary and terrifying feeling, watching with your eyes wide open as the crash happened. its like the second stopped and you're feeling helpless, like you can't do anything at all to prevent the crash and your body and mind just went paralyzed while your foot stepped on the brake as hard as you can.

I remember feeling my legs shaking like a huge glob of jelly, my hands trembling and my brain was just fried, I dunno what to do or whatever. and after the parasympathetic drive kicked in and calling my parents, I just burst into tears. I dunno, I was not feeling sad or anything, its just all the mixed up emotions -> fear, worry, not knowing, guilt, thankful etc etc just came crashing down on me.

apparently, my car was one of the 8 chained accident that happened at the flyover. sometimes I have regret, like why did I chose the left lane, why did I went to boulevard etc etc. But, overall, I'm just feeling really, really, REALLY grateful that Amy, Mel and I are safe without any scratch. and I'm really, really, REALLY thankful to Amy, Mel and Sarah for taking care of me and accompanying me through getting the police report done and getting my car into a workshop.

Oh, just wanna share my police report experience. 1st, came in and took the number. there was like, 8-10 people before my number. turned out each report took like 30-45 minutes to be done. so yeah, its reaaaally tiring and boring to wait there for our return. then when my number was called, had to tell all the story to a grumpy old policeman. printed out the report, then had to re-tell the story to a, i dunno, traffic investigator?, then, got a summon for the crash (damn!, its SO not my freaking fault!), then was told to make copies of my insurance and what was is? green paper? green card? oh well, its something green. and had to submit them to the police station and the work shop for insurance purposes. gosh! all the procedures are really really tiring. please drive carefully and pray that you won't ever get into an accident.

though, this experience really taught me that, malang tidak berbau, you wont see the crash until its head-on, anything can happen, and you just have to live more because anything unpredictable can happen just anytime and anywhere.

and thankfully I'm still here and I still have the opportunity to take my final exam and all. SOOOO have to pass!

oh, and I haven't really finished filling in the hospital allocation form. stress @.@

anyways, its really cliche-ish, but seriously, live your life a meaningful life!!!

level 6 ppl: poorly organized!!!!

I'm not bitching purely on emotional level. this is true and rational. perhaps just a tad emotional too.

I don't know what the office people are thinking. Making us do all the resume and preparing for the SPA interview when the exam is just round the corner. everything is last minute. yes, the biggest exam in our life! and no there was no proper briefing or guidance on what we must do. and the MOST IMPORTANT part! no briefing yet for just the MOST IMPORTANT exam in our life when the exam is just like 10 days away!!

I'm so sick of those last minute craptitude!!!

also, we're supposed to pass up a form, its like an application form for hospital assignment as where we wanna work as a houseman. we're supposed to pass it up this Friday, and we just got the form this freaking evening! its like one of the biggest decision we've gotta make, and we're supposed to do it in like 2 days? there are lots of factors to be considered. and lots of the hospitals have no more vacancies.

unbelievable! there are too much things to handle and in stressful condition. i think they're so inconsiderate about how we're feelings.

and I don't really know which hospital I wanna work in in the future. I don't really want to work in Sibu or SGH, I've been there for so many years. I want a fresh start and a new surrounding and experience. I really don't know. and most importantly, I hope we all pass our exams!!!

The Last Stand

Thank God that my friends and I have passed our last end of posting exams. Its been a morale boost for us, to make it through this study period. Now, it all depends on the FINAL PROFESSIONAL EXAM! Wishing all my batchmates good luck!!

this pic is taken when we're in our 3rd year in Sibu, when we're still beaming and shiny (haven't really known the hellish toughness of clinical stuff)! seems like forever ago! and god, I miss those pants!(RIP) huhu

Computerholic

I cant study in front of my computer. I always wanna look at something, search for something, play games or whatever I do on my computer.

1. Have you ever felt you needed to Cut down on your computering?
2. Have people Annoyed you by criticizing your computering?
3. Have you ever felt Guilty about computering when you should be studying instead?
4. Have you ever felt you needed to turn on your computer (Eye-opener) the first thing in the morning?

yes, yes, yes and yes. guilty as charged!!!

bitchynonoi (serious warning: useless for reading)

maybe I woke up at the wrong side of my bed, but seriously the fastest way to annoy me is using names like:

nonoicutie
sweetienonoi
prettyladynonoi
nonoismexy
glamorononoi
lovelynonoi

anything *name**insert-some-compliments-you-hope-in-your-wildest-dreams-people-will-give-you*

if anyone has read this, sorry for wasting your time :P
I'm sorry I'm bitchy, I need IV chocolates!!

Trinity Blood -watched!-

Last night, I finished watching Trinity Blood. Its an anime about vampires. I love vampires~ Except Tw*light ones of course! (what a disgrace!) Anyway, more info:

Genres: adventure, drama, fantasy, horror, science fiction, supernatural

Themes: bishoujo, bishounen, post-apocalyptic, priests and priestesses, vampires

Age rating: Teenagers (May contain bloody violence, bad language, nudity)

Plot Summary: The background is in the distant future after the destruction brought about by Armageddon. The war between the vampires and the humans continue to persist. In order to protect the humans from the vampires, Vatican has to rely on other allies to counter the situation. The protagonist, a priest called Peter Abel Nightroad, travels through the countries as a representative for the Vaticans. However, he is also part of "Ax", a special operations group controlled by the Cardinal Catherina. His encounter with a young girl called Esther will determine the struggle and survival between the human race and the vampires.

Source

Spoiler alert:
In my opinion, the plot was kinda awesome. However, sometimes, there were some discontinuity between the story lines. Like, at the end of episode 10, Abel was struck by some Rosenkreuz Orden people, he collapsed and Lady Catherina cried over him. Suddenly in episode 11, Abel was seen well and cheery like nothing happened, and suddenly working with the Methuselah girl (btw, vampires are called Methuselah in this anime, and the name "vampires" is offensive to the vampires). And lots more discontinuity, I can't remember. They just made me wonder, how did it get here from there? What happened in between? Also, Abel and Cain's history were not fully told. And the ending? Its fully open, made me feel like I want some more explanations! Guess I have to read the manga to understand more. Oh, and Abel Nightroad reminds me a LOT of Vash Stampede from Trigun. Both are clumsy, funny and stupid in everyday life, however wields a great power. Anyway, overall, nice anime. I don't regret watching it ^^ Also, I learned how to say "idiot/stupid" in Roman = Dobitoc, Tampit, Prost! XD

Homesick!

Damn I miss my family! My lovely home! My cats! Seriously, without them, I'd be nothing. We've been through ups and downs together, and they made us realize blood is indeed thicker than water!

my family during this year's raya

my crazee li'l sistas!!

my cute li'l niece and lovely sister~

my beloved siblings and niece

Love & miss them lots and lots!

Atsui desu yo~

I seek peace from the heat in the darkness of night! Thank God
Yes, today's weather is pretty hot. I'm looking forward to some rain~

Also, I did a pretty bad seminar presentation today. No excuses, its all my fault, I suck.
Anyway, yes, I'm disappointed with myself, and I had given some time for me to mope around in the dark corner. However! I won't let the disappointment and self-criticizing get to me. I'll bounce back and try to be better and learn from my mistakessss. I hate to be negative, so I'm trying to re-focus my energy into a more positive side.

and finally, Lithium from Evanescence, because we're learning about Lithium toxicity this morning. btw, I'm not really sure how this song correlates with the real mood-stabilizer for patients with mania, Lithium. hum....maybe I'm not poetic enough? haha~


*really loves the black&white snowy scene and the submerged in black water thing XD*

2 birthdays, a $14 juice and the Titans

hi hi..an update on my boring life~

FRIDAY: Good Friday holiday for our state. however, no holiday for us! group 2 had to go to Sentosa Hospital because we had a bst with Dr. Lau. and I had to present a case. oh, I forgot to mention, we had started the Psychiatric posting last week. and next week would be the last. yup, its just a mini posting, only 2 weeks. its driving us nuts! not enough time to study (plus my procrastinator side is at fault!). Anyway, good luck to all of us!

night: celebrated Sarah's birthday! at Heritage Garden. its a diner with buffet style. they have all raw stuff, meat, seafood, vegetable, anything! and we had to cook it over some soup and also on grilling pans. its a new dining experience for me. and we had chocolate cake for Sarah's birthday. and there were lots and lots of ice-cream on the dessert. we ate till we're freaking full! though, its the first time ever that I've drank a $14 juice! *ripoff!!!!!*
anyway, its the company that matters, so we had fun~~



SATURDAY: girls day out! went to watch Clash of the Titans.


Sam Worthington, as Perseus, is hot!. though, if i had to grade the movie, I think its around 6-7/10. guess I was expecting more fight scenes among the "titans". and like always, an epic movie would be compared to LOTR, so,
1. fight scenes (mostly only with Hades & his creatures, oh and the famous Perseus vs Medusa was pretty cool) half-a-check!
2. awesome mythical creatures (pegasus, kraken, scorpioch, medusa, witches) check!
3. story lines - so-so I guess, of course it couldnt beat the 3 hour each LOTR trilogy's awesome story line.
anyway, its cool. I love it. I love Greek/Roman mythology!

then went windows shopping for a little bit. then bought a present for gan's birthday.

SUNDAY: I slept in. played the Sims till 4am on saturday night. so I went to bed, woke up for Subuh prayer, then slept again until around 12 this morning @.@

night: celebrated Gan's birthday tonight! went to Sharing Planet. awesome food (though I couldn't finish my fish and chips coz I was feeling really full), so-so drinks (the portions were kinda too small and the taste a bit lacking), lovely oreo cheese cake and its fun! though, no one brought cameras coz everyone's expecting everyone else to bring their camera! *sigh*

anyways! tomorrow's Monday, exam's next week and I still have loads of psychiatry to read,