OMG! The last 2 weeks have been the most stressful period of my life ever. Let me guide you through my journey in the Final Professional Examination of UNIMAS medical school.
Theory exam 3rd, 4th and 5th May 2010
Sitting in the auditorium, feeling the vast space with arranged tables and chairs, stillness in the air with some injection of fear. I was feeling shaky and jittery sitting in the cold chair, butt freezing off, breath felt like ice, having palpitations while waiting for the time to begin writing. During the exams, feeling like the gears in your brain moving like nuts, battling the frostbite your brain got and fighting the adrenaline from the stress. Sometimes, I felt like my brain was not functioning properly, like in OSCE, when I forgot the name of Tenckhoff catheter and just realizing it at the rest station, urgh! really frustrating.
6th-10th May
AAAAAAAAAARGH!! stress all the time. feeling crazy and paranoid. I kept on asking "what if I dunno how to answer", "what if I didnt make it?", "what if I'm inadequate to be a doctor?" etc etc. and we kept on wondering what cases, which examiners we're gonna get. and really frustrating when I couldn't recall the things that I've read. Also increased in consumption of food due to stress :P
11th May
I couldn't sleep the day before, feeling crazy like I couldnt face the examiners etc etc. Then, for the short case, I got really nice set of examiners - Dr. Wong SY, a physician from SGH, Prof Hafiz, an orthopedic surgeon from UIA, and our new paediatrics lecturer. I got rheumatoid hands examination, a lipoma and atrial septal defect. I'm thankful that I got nice examiners and nice findings. though I did forgot some steps or said something gibberish, the examiners were really nice to help me through the exam.
12th May
Long case! the biggest contributor of marks for our clinical exam. since I've got medical, ortho and paeds for short case, I was gonna get either O&G or surgery. turned out I got a surgery case. the patient was a Bidayuh lady who couldnt speak any other language, and her husband was the main informer. since I couldnt speak Bidayuh, its really frustrating to get a complete history. and since my patient has a long history of the disease, its reaaally hard to get a full story. Embarrassingly, I got too frustrated because the history alone had taken too much time, so I cried when the nurse reminded me that 30 minutes had gone. 1-2 minutes wasted some more because some of the invigilators had to come in to calm me down. so, I wiped my tears and tried just as hard as I could to take as much history I could. the husband was pretty shocked to see me crying so he then, took his job seriously and started telling me everything. the presentation pretty good. though I stumbled on some words like "right colonic artery" or "chorioembryogenic antigen". gosh, so embarrassing when I realized that!
12th May 2010 (evening)
Dr. Azani, the exam coordinator gathered us all to announce some people who needed to take reassessment exams and told us that some of us didnt make it!!!!! omg! thats the scariest part ever! that night I couldnt sleep well.
today (13th May 2010)
OMG, SCARIEST day EVER! the ceremony started with our Dean's speech, it felt like forever before he started to announce the results. btw, the results were announced one by one and we had to go up the stage to take the unimas letter. its really nerve wrecking! praying like crazy for your name to be called. thinking of worst case scenarios, and our tears were so cheap.
and when my name was called, its just the most amazing feeling ever. I couldnt stop smiling all the way up the stage. some people cried when their names were called. those were tears of joy~ then, when all the results were announced, we scattered, hugging and crying with each other, congratulating the new doctors. the elated feeling was sooo good. felt like all the stress, all the hard work was so rewarding.
then, the fun part began, taking pics with all our beloved lecturers, examiners and comrades~ and then we ate.
and now, I'm sitting here, doing nothing. Feels kinda weird that all the games and movies looked so tempting when I was studying and yet now I felt lazy and they're not so interesting anymore.
Oh, btw, its a really weird and surreal feeling to know that now, you're a doctor. Doctor Liyana, Liyana Bujang M.D...
hm.. I could get use to this :P
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