Hum...I'm supposed to be preparing my slides for presentation tomorrow, but I have this unsettling feeling in my heart.
relationships are really complicated, no matter what it is: family, friendship, love, even enemies. Its just not such a simple superficial thing. I really dont know how to express this jumbled up feelings but im just gonna try. so i might sound a bit confused (like flight of ideas maybe XD)
well, in a relationship, we should know when to get involved and when to stay out. this thin line is really easy to cross over to each side. you can cross this line sometimes but in certain occasions it might result in bitter endings.
we have this defense mechanism which sometimes backfire, which is we sometimes hide our real feelings/emotions. no one really knows the real someone because we cant read thoughts. sometimes i dont wanna get involved with people around me. maybe im afraid of the truth? the closer you get to someone, the more you know bout them. im afraid i could find some reasons to damage the relationship. afraid that getting too involved in emotions would make your life messy and all. afraid to tell people your secrets because you're afraid of what they might think of you. afraid to show your vulnerable sides and look weak.
afterall, the word personality comes from persona which means "mask". everyone wears this.
so yeah, like, i might seem cold and uncaring, but i do care.
its just that both being a confidate and confidatee are pretty tough. finding someone you could trust with all your life and soul is hard, hum....for me that is. sorry i might seem self-obsessed sometimes. i really need someone to knock that off my head XD.
how do you trust someone with your deep dark secrets? how do you get close to people and gain their trust so they can pour their deep dark secrets to you? is it because our culture or our upbringings that doesnt really encourage expressions of our feelings or opinions and thoughts? is it because of our overly strong defensive mechanism? do we care too much of what people think of us? are we just too overtaken by our (maybe senseless) pride?
urgh..i dont know! >.<
hum...maybe its just... me..hehe
3 comments:
Oh, oh, I know!! One word: luv.
If you really cared about someone, not necessarily romantically, and loved them more than you loved yourself, it'd be easier to put yourself into someone else's position. Once you've done that, it's easier to see what you might be able to do, and what might help and what might not help.
You can love people sincerely while keeping your mask on, too. It's really not that hard... the hard part is receiving love while you have your own mask on. (on a side note, I think that may be why romantic relationships tend to bring so much happiness-- because you tell everything to the significant other, the other tells everything to you, and very little is hidden between the two of you, and yet, despite your fears, there's still love going between the two of you-- love that's easy to receive ^.^-b)
I would talk more on this, but work is calling me. I might talk more later :)
hum..in my case its different. i love my family and my friends, but not necessarily that i'd be easy to share my secrets with them.
love brings so much happiness, but if something wrong happened, it brings so much devastation. im not being pessimistic, just being realistic. do you know that there are loads of psych cases where love problem is the cause?? :O
anyways, its not that im anti-love. its just that when you love someone it doesnt mean you're their confidante, or vice versa. maybe most people find it easy to do that. but not me. i guess im just a nut thats a little bit harder to crack than the others XD.
Heh-- giving out secrets isn't necessarily something you'll do to anyone you love. That's why a "significant other" is what makes people so happy-- there's someone they trust enough to talk about their deepest secrets.
Love problems definitely cause... well, problems.
On the other hand, would hatred, problematic in nature or not, be any better?
And tough nuts can be FUN to crack. :D
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