A little part of me...IS LOST

yeah....I've lost it today...some important part of my life..my really beloved possession..the protector of me, my companion when its raining. its something really personal to me.
and its all my fault, i was oblivious..i was too careless! i hate myself! i blame myself! My world is really falling apart at this exact moment.

yeah, its lost, my beloved transparent umbrella!!!! ;>o<; Sarah and I were shopping at India street just now, and I FREAKING LOST IT!!! I dunno where I left it. Its just SOOOO sad. the umbrella is very dear to my heart. I chose to have it, I wanted only it, I needed only it. I dont wanna use any other umbrella! huu...this is very stressful to me. i really, really love that umbrella..huhuhuhu.. yeah, i know you'd think its weird for me to freak out about an umbrella. like i've said, its just so personal to me. i fell in love with it out of sudden long time ago, i searched for it for a long time, craved for it for a long time. and mel went out of her way to get me that umbrella (like, through all the security at the airport). yeah, i cant find it anywhere here. or was i searching at the wrong place? urgh..im just so pissed off at myself right now! its easier when you blamed someone else, you can plot a revenge, you can forgive, you can fight back, anything, is in your control. but when you blame yourself, its just the worst feeling ever. huu..anyways, i got to calm down. thing has happened, and i've got to make the best out of anything thats available. i for sure will get a new transparent umbrella by hook or by crook. that style just clinged at my heart and wont let go! so yeah, for fashion, I WILL crash and burn.