near death

okay, that may be too much...

but..just now, I had an episode, where my head went spinning 360 degrees in slow motion...like whooooo~~~ (wooooozyyy!!)
its a really weird feeling, since I've never ever fainted in my whole life (well, except when I nearly had a syncope attack when I was in a marching competition in high school :P)
It may be hypoglycemia, since I haven't eaten since lunch because I spent my lunch hour napping... or dehydration...or I think it mostly caused by sleep deprivation, since we spend most of our night in the OT when I was oncall last night.

then...it kinda made me wonder, what if this is how people feel when they're near to death?
what if we faint and never get to get up again??
like, it happens out of a sudden, without any warning

gosh, its scary to like, die.. without any warning
and like, alone
and like, not ready
AT ALL

okay, I'm not really a pious person... sometimes I miss my solat, I bitch about people, I lie, I make my parents angry, I make people angry etc etc.
so yeah, thats why its understandable to be scared of death, because we're not well prepared to meet our Creator.
kinda like having exam scares, because we're not prepared to meet the lecturers.

so, its kinda like a wake up call to me. I have to appreciate life more, and be closer to God as much as I can. because even though we're scientists, we need faith to be spiritually healthy as well, to be healthy as a wholesome individual.

so yeah, I'll be good. I wanna be better!

errr....and good night, I need some sleep now