Sucky Day

hi hi..first of all, I'm unable to go to sleep, since I've slept from 11am to 5pm today. that sucks. I'm gonna need my sleep for a chaotic day tomorrow. Because I'm going to paeds medical ward.

aand, today's my postcall. oncall yesterday was really not peaceful. quite a lot of babies to resus and all that. freaking tiring. whats more, I'm oncall with him. gah! hate it so freaking much. didnt get much sleep last night.

and this morning, turned out I've made some big mistakes. tired + sleep deprived + feeling really bad for my mistakes = great depression. yup, I'm never able to do anything right. sucks!

and when I was sleeping away my depression, some dude I barely know, whom I asked for help one freaking time, decided to ask my number from my mom, and started texting me like I'm his good friend, asking me this and that. and people who really know me, knows how much I HATE being disturbed when I'm sleeping for stupid unnecessary little things by people I'm not so close with or people I don't really like. SUPER hate it! really fcuking hate it! like, get the message, idiot, if I replied "yes", "no", "ok", get the freaking idea that I'm not freaking interested. if I didn't reply, hell no I'm not interested. really pissing me off that the dude didnt get it at all, I said I was sleeping and I was @ my postcall. and when I didn;t reply, he kept on asking, oh sorry, are u mad at me or something. fcuk. I dont even know you, and you obviously dunno who the hell I am. if im not replying then piss off. its not really rocket science. god! where are all these idiots coming from?? thats why I hate asking people for help, hate to be "in debt" to someone. especially idiots. urgh!

darn. really spoiling my post call break. anyway, just now went out with some colleagues for dinner. thanks for the superb time. its fun, and really made my day better.

anyways, for what its worth, I hope tomorrow will be a better day. though I seriously doubt it. *serious negative black hole aura surrounding*

I ate kids for breakfast

figuratively, of course!

Yup, I'm like a month plus already in the paeds department. I used to kinda dislike kids. ever since I could remember. I had tried liking them when I saw all females are like mandatorily born with a motherly instinct and I used to think all girls think kids are adorable. But yeah, I was tired from trying, and I had fully accepted the fact that I don't like kids. I think cats are cuter than kids. I hate it when they cry/scream/throw tantrums. I hate nappies, drool and vomit and all that. and I was scared to hold them because they look super fragile and I could drop them anytime.

but..now, I think I can somewhat accept that some babies are cute. I still think that their crying can drive anyone nuts though. But, being in paeds really teaches me how to be patient and observant (because kids cant really tell whats wrong with them). and I can hold a baby now, and all that. My respect to mothers, they're really superwomen to go through motherhood.

anyways, yeah, I'm starting to like some kids now, and paeds can be fun sometimes (maybe its just a Stockholm Syndrome for me :P). I love working in SCN. I'm a bit dreading the time when I'll be going to paeds medical ward next month..huhu

anyway, I should be getting some sleep now, sleep is to us like the Ring to gollum..haha~ yup, its precioussss~!! so yeah, nite2~

just a quick update

just feeling like updating my blog since I havent posted anything for quite some time.

Ok, life now is quite ok i guess. still adapting to work, I can do more now and be more useful (lol). There are 3 new housemen in the ward. I have new friends. yay

I still need to shop and I need a shopping buddy. I blew off 2 chances of going out with my friends. 1. with wanie, when I overslept and missed it. and she's now off in Ulu Baram. huhu..
2. with mala, when I also overslept in the evening, and missed the dinner. she's now off to Sibu, she was just visiting Miri for a short while.

god, I hate myself! I miss my friends. *sob sob*

Can't wait for Kunnoe to come to Miri some time soon. and I cant wait for Sheareen to finish her tagging so we have more time, so we can go shopping!!!!

I really need to snap out from this depressed lonely feeling. I'll just have to take it positively, like, taking it as more quality time for myself and a peaceful relaxing time. I still miss my BFFs and my family.

Anyway, tomorrow's Monday, and you know what that means. friggin' Monday Blues. eh, do I really get Monday Blues? Its not like I have holidays on weekends now. everyday seems to be the same to me. theme of my life: supermassive black hole :P

I'm not crazy, I'm just a li'l unwell

gosh, it feels really weird to be sick! I had a lovely start today, woke up feeling all fresh and happy (which is kinda rare because I really am not a morning person), then went to work.

Then it all started. Our body has ways to tell that there is something wrong with it. I started feeling all woozy and uneasy. I tried to brush it away, but it would just wont be turned off. like an alarm telling that something is terribly wrong. Then I had a weird sensation of discomfort around my stomach. then it turned to colicky pain. Then, I felt nauseated. Then I vomited out whatever the heck there was. blargh! I hate being sick. Then I felt like really sleepy and lazy, like my body screaming I NEED TO GO TO SLEEP NOOOW!

Hu.. I really dont wanna be sick at work. its different from college, where you can get MCs and just lie down on your bed whole day long. I just don't wanna be extended in my housemanship just because I'm sick. Hope I'll get better tonight!!!!

I love my pillows

um...dunno what to write. today's quite a busy day. on call last night so-so. sooo freaking tired and getting really drowsy after quite a big dinner.

so yeah, off to bed! nite nite~