another complaining and whining from truly moi~

lol yeah, I've been complaining non freaking stop since forever (especially since I've started working actually :P)

I dunno, I still miss my BFFs, I miss my family so damn much. even though I've made new friends, I dunno, I'm kinda a bit of a social retard. I don't get close in a short time. But, I'm getting there, I guess. *sigh* I miss gossiping like nuts and going for a retail therapy with my friends. I miss feeling the rush and high of shopping that all the problems in the world just melt away and its just us and shopping unity in the moment, nothing else.

I dunno, I always doubt myself at the moment. I'm afraid of making mistakes, so I question myself a lot. its pathological. and I get the feeling that I couldn't do any damn thing right, no matter how much I try? or like, it doesn't matter that I do all the right things, one little mistake would just ruin me. I hate it so much. I know making mistakes is a step of a learning process. I know that since med school. Its just that sometimes I can accept my mistakes and all, sometimes they just get to me too much. I hate the fact that I've worn the same outfit over and over again for like, 1 month plus since I've been here. When I get depressed, I could wear the same outfit twice in a week. and if I wear the same outfit twice in a week, I'll spiral into deeper depression. Its one hell of a vicious cycle, I tell you. Heck, I am ruined.

I really can't wait to go back home for Raya. I want to feel human again!