Aidilfitri memento

Hi there, we're still in the month of Syawal. So, Selamat Hari Raya to all muslims. its the day to celebrate our success after fasting, and also to ask for forgiveness from each other.

Forgiveness, when you mean it, when you regret the wrongs that you have done and when you want to reconcile with someone, you ask for forgiveness. its easy to say something thats meaningless, and when you really mean it, you'll feel the happiness the moment the other someone accepted your apologies. its quite a touching moment.

My raya celebration was really blissful. I've celebrated it with my parents and beloved family which I'm usually far from. Sure, our family is not perfect, and we have crises, but my love to my family is endless, especially to my parents who have made PRICELESS sacrifices for all of us. its really sad that some children have selfishly taken their parents for granted. its unbearable. I like to see things from different perspectives, like, from the victim, from the culprit, from the police etc etc, but I couldnt seem to understand the point of view from children who couldnt appreciate their parents, good parents who love and care, who are the very essence of their existence and who have supported their life. but human in general are weak, some children fell into peer pressure and all, thus forgetting all there is about family and life value. all they think about is themselves. they never learn to put themselves in their parents' situations, they just wanna have fun, they dont care if they're hurting other people. selfishness, irresponsibility and narrow-minded, a mixture of a stupid and weak mind. and a stupid person will never say they're stupid, thus bringing awareness to them is a tough work. all we can do is give them advice, hope they can understand and realize and pray for them to change.

and religion, why is religion important? because it sets rules for human ever so weak morals. I'm not saying atheists are immoral people. but I believe religions are like the core and mould in forming an individual. the rules are made for good reasons, they're always to bring benefits to the religious worshiper, and to prevent bad things from happening. different religion has different rules, but all in all, the rules are made for that same reason of protecting humankind. believing in god brings peace and confidence to any religion worshipers. we pray because we're thankful that we're alive, we pray because we're grateful of everything good we have in life, we pray for strength to go on hardship, we pray for forgiveness of what we did wrong and regret, we pray for a better future for ourselves and people we love, we pray for good things to happen and bad things to not happen in the future that we cant control. we pray for a lot of things from our Creator. we are insignificant beings in this whole universe. thats why we have to search and find the meaning of our existence.

anyways, in this Raya spirit, I'm still having a little bit of homesickness. I miss my family and my house so much! I'll never stop loving my parents and I will do my very best to make them happy. I appreciate what they have done to me since I was in my mother's womb, I cant think of anything that is even close to repaying all their sacrifices for me and family and I thank god for giving me the awareness and guidance. I love you mom & dad! you're THE best of THE best!

also, in this beautiful month, I really want to start to change to be a better person and a better Muslimah, yeah I've broken some rules and all, I'm not a good Muslimah at all. so from now on, I'm trying to improve myself little by little. so, I hope I can improve and be better in everything there is in life.

Can you resist The Resistance?

Just finished listening to this album. Its quite good for me, not extraordinarily great like the previous Blackholes and Revelation and Absolution.

all in all, I love Matthew Bellany's vocals, the main signature of Muse. their music is awesome and different like always. and their lyrics, well, they're weird and unique like the usual Muse stuff, in a good way of course. they're mostly singing about morales in scientific metaphors with playful tones. and somehow, quite a lot of the songs in this album are about an evil lover? as in Undisclosed Desires, I Belong To You, MK Ultra, and some of the Exogenesis: Symphony.

there are 3 parts of musical like songs, Exogenesis: Symphony. those 3 parts consisted of a cool fusion of classical orchestra, rock and electronica genres. singing about one theory of creation? where we are? when we are? just the most asked and unanswered questions of all time. they also sang about exogenesis or panspermia, hypothesizing that all living creatures in the universe originated from the same source. for more information, read The Deception Point from Dan Brown XD. I'll love anything related to astronomy :P

Resistance is cool! the first opening felt like you're floating in the middle of the space, then comes the piano, which is so cool~ I think its my most fave song in this album!

United States of Eurasia has some middle-eastern music? felt kinda like in Aladdin or Prince of Persia or something. Its really cool ^^

however, I found MK Ultra, Unnatural Selection and Uprising quite boring. Like I have to force myself to listen to them to the finish and they didn't make me wonder whats next in the songs and of course, it didn't make me want more of the songs, thus, me ended up forcing myself to listen to them.

or perhaps, they're just not the song to listen after a day of classes XD
so, all in all, I'll give it a 4/5 stars. Maybe if I could listen to them more and understand all the lyrics, they'll all be funner? XD

Just a-whatever-review from me :P

a new change

sempena Raya la konon~

my old blog theme is just way too boring!!! It was in a dire need of change, like seriously? thats from a freaking year ago!!

So, welcome to the new change~~
I love my new blog theme. Kinda hard to tweak all the widgets and all, and some annoying changes that I couldn't change, which I decided to get use to and stuff (it hides my navigation bar and I dunno how to change the html codes - it went haywire when I tried deleting something :P).

Anyway, 5 more days to go for Raya celebration. Thus, most of us have this heavy lazy aura around us. I really am in the mood of a holiday!! Though, I didn't do much preparations this year, its been a busy, busy year. Really can't wait to get home to celebrate it with my beloved family. Though, seriously, I'm gonna miss Ramadhan, its really a month like no other. Hope I can meet it again next year and I'll do better then.

Moreh, Ramadhan and the "feel"

wow, its been 19 days we're in the fasting month~! time really flies, ne?

tonight is our turn to prepare for Moreh. 1st of all, what is Moreh?
Moreh is a term used for "eating together after solat tarawih". I think the term originates from West Malaysia as I've never used that term before. anyways, yeah, Moreh is one of the experience in the fasting month, which has the "feel" of being in the fasting month.

So, we cooked
a) Mashed potatoes
b) French fries (yeah, I know, too many potatoes XD)
c) last but not least, Sushi by yours truly, moi~ XD

it was quite a hit, if I must say, so yeah, so proud and happy seeing people eat what you've made. its priceless XD. though I wish we could just take some pics of our hard work! we've been too busy that we forgot to capture the precious moment!

and speaking of Ramadhan, there are some things that make it really feel like Ramadhan. so, my other experiences that is specific to giving the "feel" to Ramadhan are:

1. sahur: waking up early in the morning before dawn to eat. kinda like the preparation for the fast during the day. I'm not a morning person, let alone waking up before dawn! so its kinda hard for me to get up for sahur. its been difficult but I kinda toughen myself just to have the "feel" of Ramadhan. (actually, only drinking some water is enough for me XD)

2. break of fast aka sungkey: eating at dusk, after the whole day of fasting. one of the merriest time of the day. yup, kinda like, celebrating our effort in fasting. victory!! XD

3. ramadhan bazaar: an area filled with stalls selling food and drink. it has almost everything! XD walking around a bazaar, with an empty stomach and food all around you.. its like the most tempting moment of the day, and this could lead to over spending of food XD

4. tarawih & witir: the prayers performed specially for Ramadhan month. to pray for forgiveness and to be thankful for everything. filled with lotsa fadhilat, even busy people make time for these prayers.

5. tadarus al-quran: the reading of the Muslim's holy book, the Quran. usually people would want to finish reading the Quran in this month. its good to reflect its meaning and learn from it.

6. moreh: like I said, eating after the prayers. it increases the bond between other people. people eat and strengthen the bond of silaturrahim.

7. documentary about Islam: like Jejak Rasul and Syahadah. mostly airing about the history of Islam, the historical places, about other Muslims in other countries and all that. a good way to increase knowledge about Islam.

8. cooking programs: 2 significant programs a) cooking for break of fast, b) cooking for Raya (Eid) preparation!! somehow those just leave you with the "feel" of Ramadhan XD

9. baking!: oh, I love this the most! its for Raya, where we serve cookies, cakes or anything for the guests. I really love baking, though I don't think I would be able to do so because there's no time :(

10: Raya cards: SOOO nostalgic! really love sending those in my younger days XD. now, its all about e-cards and SMS, people just don't bother much about sending a proper card! :(

so yeah, thats all I can think about for now. Happy Ramadhan to all Muslims~

Live = eviL

it never fails to amuse me, people's ignorance towards human nature. like, seriously, do you expect everyone to be all angelic, everything to be rainbows and butterflies?

people use people, its dog-eat-dog world out there! grow the freaking up!

again, I'm not rooting for evil, but please, acknowledge that in human there are good and evil, in Islam, its like, the akal and nafsu. in greek mythology, there are eros and thanatos, human drive towards live and death, respectively. and also, as in yin and yang. all evolving around good vs evil in this life.

so, why should we deny the existence of evil in everyone? so we can live blissfully ignorant? so evil things wont happen if we didnt think about them?

and why should we accept the existence of evil? so we can understand more about human nature, so we know what we're facing, so we know the cause/reason of its existence. so we can avoid the shock (like, omg!! I cant believe he actually used me to get something and when he's done he just threw me away?? omg!! *crushed!!*). thus, we can prepare ourselves. then perhaps, we would know how to face it, avoid it or solve it.

and personally, I think, having "evil" in us doesnt mean it makes us all murderer, traitor or whatever evil being there is. like love, the definition of evil is subjective. sometimes we need to be selfish to protect ourselves. sometimes we need to be stingy to protect ourselves. like, in the anime Fruits Basket, there is the story about the stupid humble traveller who gave his own body parts to be eaten by goblins just because he pitied the hungry goblins. we do not need to be this good/generous, right? too much or too little of something is always not good. almost in everything, moderation is the key.

all in all, its all about a harmonious balance between good and evil, akal and nafsu, eros and thanatos, yin and yang in an ideal life.

trip to home and back again

I seemed to have lost my interest in updating my blog. Probably because after the exam, I kinda like, "let it all down". I have rested, slept like a log, and wasted my time online and watching drama or movies. it was all stress-free~

and last weekend, I went back home. overall it was fun, though I couldn't really be as free as when I am here, because at home, I still have to do chores, unlike here where I can procrastinate all I want :P. Also, I've been busy with my 14-month-old niece, who can already walk, run and babble some words, she's getting smarter and even naughtier, its really hard to chase her around the house! like a quote inside my paediatric guide book, "You can learn many things from children - how much patience you have, for instance - Franklin P. Jones". Apparently, I dont have much of it, so its something that I'll have to learn more.

Also, yesterday was Malaysia's 52nd Independence Day aka Merdeka day, with the theme of 1 Malaysia this year. Merdeka is when Malaysia was freed from British invasion. Blood has been spilt, and a lot of effort and sacrifices were involved in the process. I don't think there's enough empathy which we can express that is equal to how difficult the whole Merdeka process really was. Without all the sacrifices and all, Malaysians wouldn't be able to experience such freedom as now. I'm not really good at history but I understand the basic of it XD.
Still, some stupid Malaysians decided to think that freedom in Merdeka is the same as freedom to waste themselves, to be free from all the moral restraints. Merdeka is celebrated by getting wasted with alcohol, drugs and social gathering of nothingness. I dunno, I just hate the youth today, the ones who cant think higher than the basic survival instincts of eating and mating, who followed every single thing the media redeemed as "cool" regardless of the consequences. well, I think everyone knows how this species is.

So, when my 16-year-old sister decided to go out to celebrate Merdeka with a couple of good-for-nothing watsisface and watserface, god, I was pissed off. I was worried till I couldnt sleep. i felt like a protective mother. gave her some talk after she came back, hope she'll change for the better.

why do I hate those idiots so much? its because:
a. they don't have the will to learn, they are too content with what they have, they have no self-motivation to improve themselves (this is where "stay the same" song doesn't work)

b. they are too weak to peer pressure and a slave to the so-called coolness (their definition of cool = hate school, study as little as possible, laugh at people who do nice things or study and call them "geek", destroy your body as much as possible - smoke! drink! drugs! sex!, be stupid, look stupid, feel stupid, eat stupid) kawan mkn taik ko pun mkn taik juak!

c. they follow everything they watch on TV (content same as point above)

there is a thin line between being adventurous and being stupid,
also a thin line between having fun and being stupid.

parents don't let their kids out late at night to prevent from bad things happening to them (self-destruction, rape, fights, murder, etc), not because they are narrow minded or they dont want the kids to have fun or "mengongkong", like we've heard a lot from the stupid people's excuses. even though our parents are from different generation, the human nature hasn't really changed much, only even worse now. parents have been teenagers before, they understand. been there done that!

and I'm not advocating to make TV our enemy, or dont ever watch TV! its just that we have to have some sort of a filter, to sieve through, learn to avoid the bad influence and follow the good ones. just like fashion, what may look good on other people doesnt mean it would look good on you. so, think wisely!

and have the freaking courage to say NO to those pesky peer pressure thingy. i know its hard for most teenagers, thats why i said courage is needed.

or perhaps, stupid people exist to complete the hierarchy of the ecosystem. if there are no losers, there wont be any winners?

anyways, nice guys always finish last. thats kinda like the rule of the world.

another long post from me. I just cant stop myself from talking about those people. Anyways, those are just my honest point of view. I hope I didnt get stupid being caught up in my own thoughts and eliminating other possibilities. If I was wrong, enlighten me.

Together we decrease the incidence of stupidity!!!!