awesome dream!

i had a really awesome dream last night. I was FLYING~ i had to wave my arms like i was swimming though. and i was inside a building that looked like a hotel and i was flying from floor to floor with no apparent reasons. but its still awesome. i felt so free and all.

i've had some other flying dreams before. once, i was able to fly with the music. like i could fly only if there's any music playing. i kinda remember my self answering to "how do you do that?" from other people, i said, "i dunno, its kinda easy for me, just go with the flow of the music"! XD. i wish it was THAT easy!

and another one, i was a vampire, and i was flying at the dark sky at a starless night. it was so dark, and i felt the wind on my face, and my beautiful black dress flapping around me while i was flying. this was awesome too. like i felt so free and so powerful.

flying is so awesome!

Stress: the outcomes

the ophthalmology and A&E exam is 3 days away. Its SOOO stressful!
So, when I'm stressed, there are 3 outcomes

1. hit rock-bottom
I'd bring my stress or sadness to the lowest level of all. and this is when i'd feel like crying even though its just a small matter thing. so yeah, I'd be extremely sad and devastated, where i'd feel hopeless and useless. and I'd cry my freaking eyes out. like, let it ALL out. after all the tears has been dried up, I'd feel a LOT better, and I would rise above once again.

2. fly up-high
Hum...this is when I'd channel all the negative energy into one huge energy. I'd do kick boxing (this really works if the stress came from someone..hehe), dance, sing out loud, run, and last but never the least, RETAIL THERAPY!

those two methods above would require quite some time. so, if i dont have much time to mourn or go crazy, i'd choose the last method, though this is quite difficult

3. analyze problem and do things that would optimize my performance the most
so yeah, think about the problem, analyze my solutions, and think that I've done my very best, this is the best I've done and accept that failure is always the outcome of everything. So, with the thought of "omg, I havent read this and this, how can i pass this? oh, its okay, i'll just study as much as I can and fight the exam paper as hard as I can, and if i failed, i know i've done my best, so its quite ok.", i'd do okay. of course its not 100% okay, but its better to do something and fail, than do nothing and fail. some people would say, "well, if we're sure that we'd fail, why bother trying??"

i'd say, if I've given my best effort and yet I'd still fail, it sucks, but it'd suck more if i didnt try. the "what if" questions would haunt me. like some people have said, the regret of NOT doing something is worse than the regret when you did something regrettable.
so yeah, this will make me realize that i have to work my head off to beat the exam as much as i can. oh and sometimes stress or some problem would obstruct your thinking, and you'd start thinking immaturely towards the problem and then acting immaturely of the solutions. like you wouldnt realize this, but someone else would. so, it'd help a lot to analyze the problem from different perspectives, and the problem might be actually only a small matter that can be solved with a simple solution! (this feeling is so great, like you can breath again XD). and if its worse on the different perspectives, you can always work your brain for more solutions.


so, these are the ways i manage my stress. it varies with people though. some would prefer walking, fresh air or a cup of tea to take their stress away. its better to handle your stress, and move on with life (like the overly used phrase of Life Goes On :P) than to let it drown you, and making you more useless than ever.

my bruise

it looks kinda weird today. everyone's kinda surprised at the look of it. on impact, its kinda reddish, then next day, its bluish, not really as big as it is now. then it turned blackish, reddish and some greenish-yellowish margin surrounding it. and now the reddish area got bigger. it shows that my blood clot in the bruise has gone some lysis and is healing.

cataract surgery

i forgot to post about this in my blog yesterday. so yeah, yesterday morning, i went to the eye OT for the first time. Mr. Asok was the surgeon and i observed him do phacoemulsion for an immature cataract and extracapsular cataract extraction (ECCE)
for a mature cataract.


eye surgery is all about microscopic surgery. so you'd have to have REALLY steady hands to be an ophthalmologist. the cataract surgeries were really cool though. i love watching them!

hiya~

mom went home today. i didnt get to see her off at the airport because i was in class, presenting the seminar on paediatric ophthalmology. my presentation was pretty short. i presented on ophthalmia neonatorum and i think the presentation was quite good. i miss my mom eventhough im going home by next week, after the exam. like, exam-again! i hate this 4th year, there are too many exams.

oh, yesterday i met a long lost friend, Zil. i was so surprised. seems like she's changed in appearance but her attitude hasnt changed much. we talked a lot, she asked me out but i was too tired after netball. its just SO nice to meet an old friend. its always awkward when you meet an old friend. coz they have changed, you have changed, and the memory of the relationship is always frozen at the time when you last met. so yeah, its interesting. i miss my old friends. hope i can catch up with them soon.