hi hi~
its the start of the weekend!! YAY~! ^^
this week surely flew by me reaally fast!

anyways, yesterday, I presented for the journal reading session, representing Group 1. Our topic was something like "group based exposure therapy for war-related post traumatic stress disorder". we only had one day prior to prepare all the slides, and mel and amy have so kindly helped me prepare the slides, even though i usually prefer to make my own slides so i'd understand every word im saying. but thats an emergency case, and im really grateful to amy n mel *domo domo arigato* XD

anyways, the most important point here is... my lecturer, Dr. Siti the clinical psychologist, praised our presentation. she said its really good despite our lack of time for the preparation. im so proud of myself and our group! ^^

aand...right now im watching a bit of Survivor season 17. its really cool! as expected from Survivor!! this time, its held at some place in Africa named Gabon. its one of the places on earth that is still UNTOUCHED! its really cool and beautiful! the greeneries, the animals, the natural structures are just breathtaking. there are elephants, hippoes, crocs, monkeys, chimpanzees, cheetahs and all the other African animals. its definitely one of the places that i'd like to go in the future. cant wait to start working! it feels so good to know that you can dream and the dreams can come true XD

Distance

Hum...I'm supposed to be preparing my slides for presentation tomorrow, but I have this unsettling feeling in my heart.

relationships are really complicated, no matter what it is: family, friendship, love, even enemies. Its just not such a simple superficial thing. I really dont know how to express this jumbled up feelings but im just gonna try. so i might sound a bit confused (like flight of ideas maybe XD)

well, in a relationship, we should know when to get involved and when to stay out. this thin line is really easy to cross over to each side. you can cross this line sometimes but in certain occasions it might result in bitter endings.

we have this defense mechanism which sometimes backfire, which is we sometimes hide our real feelings/emotions. no one really knows the real someone because we cant read thoughts. sometimes i dont wanna get involved with people around me. maybe im afraid of the truth? the closer you get to someone, the more you know bout them. im afraid i could find some reasons to damage the relationship. afraid that getting too involved in emotions would make your life messy and all. afraid to tell people your secrets because you're afraid of what they might think of you. afraid to show your vulnerable sides and look weak.

afterall, the word personality comes from persona which means "mask". everyone wears this.

so yeah, like, i might seem cold and uncaring, but i do care.

its just that both being a confidate and confidatee are pretty tough. finding someone you could trust with all your life and soul is hard, hum....for me that is. sorry i might seem self-obsessed sometimes. i really need someone to knock that off my head XD.

how do you trust someone with your deep dark secrets? how do you get close to people and gain their trust so they can pour their deep dark secrets to you? is it because our culture or our upbringings that doesnt really encourage expressions of our feelings or opinions and thoughts? is it because of our overly strong defensive mechanism? do we care too much of what people think of us? are we just too overtaken by our (maybe senseless) pride?

urgh..i dont know! >.<

hum...maybe its just... me..hehe

psycho psychiatrist

hey hey~ just now we had a lecture on community psychiatrist. our lecturer....is creepy!

points for:
- he's always saying negative things
- he said we don't have feelings
- he said we don't have empathy
- he said we don't know anything
- he said he wouldn't know what kind of doctors we'd become
- he underestimated us!

GOD! he's a FREAKING psychiatrist! how could he say stuff like that?? how could he judge us like that? from that moment i really hate him.

and he made us do homeworks - 3 essays:
1. 10 things patients and their families would want
2. "If I was a psychiatric patient"
3. Consequences of relapses

sheesh! i feel like im back at high school again!

and this morning, sarah and i went to clerk some patients. first sarah wanted to clerk this bipolar patient, but he's in a manic phase, he has grandiose, he kept on talking about the conquerer of China and the sultan of Brunei and the queen would come to him soon. and he said "im very intelligent, no one can challenge me!" and he kept on talking and talking about incoherent stuff. we're like "uh....okay, thanks for your time! bye! @.@" basically we chickened out XD.

then i clerked a patient, she has schizophrenia. she's really co-operative which is cool. but this is my first time clerking a patient after 3 weeks (see how hardworking i am XD) so hum...its not really organized and stuff :P.

Venus~!

In my search for my car names, I think I want to give an astronomical name because I love the astronomical magic XD.

So, I immediately decided to name it Venus, after the planet of love, and the surface of Venus is volcanic, so its hot and fierce. SO yeah, its Venus, my lovely car. She's hot and fierce! X3

Happy Monday Blues!

Hum..its actually already tuesday by now XD

anyways, today, we learned about psychosexual and social psychiatry. The lecture on psychosexual was SO boring, i almost slept (eventhough im the kind of person who cant sleep in a sitting position!). like, hello? he who managed to make a lecture about such interesting topic that boring, must be super BAD! the lecturer talks in a monotonous way, and he never tells us about his experience as a psychiatrist with his patients. i noticed that most excellent lecturers always entertain us with real life examples and their encounter with their patients. that way we can understand better, and yeah, listening about their experience in dealing with different types of patients are REAAALLY interesting! but not this one, he just keeps on firing facts, facts, facts in a monotonous deep voice. its like a lullaby in the class, its like listening to an audio history book! that way i wouldnt be able to retain my concentration for long, and when i lose my focus, i started sketching. i had quite some collection of sketches that i wanna scan and maybe upload them on deviantart by this weekend XD.

aand..social psychiatry, we had a lecture from a foreign lecturer, Dr. Ann Appleton, a psychiatrist from New Zealand. she's doing some sort of research here, and she's been staying here for quite a while. she even got married with a man from my town! anyways, she's okay, she likes to make us do group activities, and its kinda fun. though, we had some problem understanding her weird accents XD at first, and when we got used to it, yeah, we can understand what she's talking about XD.

so yeah, and i've washed Teddy-chan and Chibi-chan today because they're getting really dusty (they kept on falling off my bed when i was sleeping XD) so i wont have anyone to hug tonight! kya~ sabishi yo~ samui da yo~ X3

aanyways, enough of that babbling XD. im gonna watch another awesome epi of bleach then im gonna go to sleep.

oyasumi~!