Yesterday night, my friends and I went to watch Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen. In the movie section, I'm really very hard to please. I usually have high expectations of the movie and almost always they disappoint me. I love to feel the impact the movies give me, how they excite me, get my adrenaline pumping, give me goosebumps, amaze me, shock me, make me feel like I'm in the movies, and above all, I want to feel THE magic!
and I really felt the magic, I was I was totally smitten by this movie. It was totally amazing, the computer graphic animations of the transformations of the Transformers are sooo fluid-like, so real, SO awesome! and the explosions, the shooting and the fighting, TOTALLY blew my mind!
ah, the feeling~ could it be better than falling in love? XD
this is one of my most favorite new transformers:
its hot pink and I love it! *might wanna re-take my motorcycle license XD*
at the time of crisis, our body responds through 2 ways: fight or flight.
like me, I found that the starting of this posting really stressful. I've chosen flight. I sulked, I mourned, I got all gloomy and negative. I tried to run away from it because I hate that I have to go to the hospital for the ward round at 7.30 am. its unbelievable that they have attendance for ward rounds?! I hate the fact that being a student (or gonna be a houseman in the future) I have to be controlled by the more powerful figures. the thing i hate the most is being controlled and not being able to get free.
but all those things, they have their own advantages, right? all clouds has silver linings, the grass is greener, or whatever it is, there will always be some blessings in disguise.
so I thought like, why am I doing this? hating, mourning, sulking, trying to run away.. they use a lot of energy and I'm not going anywhere in the end. it hurts me a lot, but i wouldnt be getting anything from getting gloomy, other than not being able to perform at my best. besides, I WILL be going through much worse situations when I start working in the future, so might as well get use to it now, right?
so yeah, lets embrace and accept that I have to take out my studying spirit thats collecting dusts in the deep dark corner, and turn it up high. I know it will take some time to really get a good grasp on stuff, it will take some time to move all those rusty gears in my brain, but I'll try my best. I will choose to fight.
*sigh* today I'm so full of negativity. after like, a "honeymoon" year, plus 5 weeks of elective posting where most of the time we had fun vacationing and another 3 weeks at home lazying around and having fun with my family, plus 2 weeks of therapeutic lectures, where the days were all relaxing and yeah, oh-so-therapeutic to my lazy, super lazy soul.
and now, BAM! ObGyn posting has begun! its like a slap to the face to me, the reality call, the kick to my lazy bum, the shocking electric jolt of realness of reality, the worst Monday blues ever! they all start to dawn on me. no, no! dawning is just too slow, its kinda like the sudden ripping of a bandage on a wound, or the crash of mighty glass on the floor. its just too sudden for me. the feelings are pretty unbelievable, almost extraterresterial!!
and the only thing i looked forward to my monday is wondering what the new items for Pet Society! how sad is that??
*sigh-again* anyways, its gonna really take some time for me to adapt to this supermassive stressing situation. and yeah, Sloth is probably the biggest sin of me. well, just minus the word "probability". huu~
just now we went to the wards for introduction and orientation and stuff, and in the afternoon we had briefings about the posting with our coordinator. I was still in the denial shocked state all through the day. reality's quite a bitch! right now, here I am, with this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, thinking about all the worst case scenarios and stuff, and my chest really hurts with this heavy heavy feeling. i feel like crying but annoyingly i cant, and i cant think of any sad movies to watch so i could cry. how sad is that?? I cant even cry even when i want to! >.<
I want some antidepressants please!
huu.. I'm SO sorry for being a little over the top, I feel like this sudden change of lifestyle is really affecting me. i really, really hope i can adjust and adapt to this situation! *i can do this, im an excellent chameleon! (chant 100x)*
please, please remind me again why I'm doing this.. huhu
crap! I just forgot what I really wanted to say. Here I went, staring at the blank screen, trying to remember what I was supposed to write down. and it felt like its really at the tip of your memory but you just cant seem to grasp it! Don't you think its the most freaking annoying thing in the whole wide world?? i feel like ripping my hair off! i really hate it when it happens! *note to self: never ever put things off again! write it down IMMEDIATELY!!!
Hi, I've finished watching some TV series lately, because these first 2 weeks are quite light for us.. hehe and, I've finished watching Merlin. Its about, well, you know, the Arthurian tales. It differs quite a lot from other versions of Merlin stories that I've watched before. and yes, I do have some interests in those kind of fantasy epic stories. Anyways, this Merlin is about the young Merlin. The story's quite good, though the special effects were not quite at par with LOTR (that'd be really hard to beat though), you can really see that the creatures are fake, and their movements are like some creature made of lego blocks trying to move. Overall, I'd give it a 7/10.
anyways, I really like Prince Arthur~ *so cheesy of me to swoon over a prince XD* yeah, he's a prince, handsome, strong and arrogant. oh, and rakyat-oriented. what a lovely combination XD. and he has this kinda weird misalignment of his upper teeth, but weirdly enough, that made him so much more cuter! i just cant fathom how such a flaw makes him all the more perfect! *kyaa! fangirl mode*. and the english accent! plus the way he swings the sword! *melts* XD
anyways, I read his interview on his character. Bradley James said something like "One of the appeals of playing him is that he is not really perfect. He is not a noble figure to begin with. He is not a so-called hero, and he is not good for the sake of being good. There are flaws to him," and "He will be King one day. So he would not dare allow his friends to see a weaker side. He's expected to be a pillar of strength. There's a stubbornness that comes with that and as a result he is not able to sympathize with other people."
I think i can relate myself to that personality. well, obviously I wont be a King, but I love feeling strong. I dont show the weaker side of me to just anyone. hum..maybe just sometimes XD. and sometimes people said i give cold facts or act without sympathies. Its not that Im not able to sympathize, heck, I have empathy towards people. its just that facts are facts, maybe its just their fault for not being as strong. thus the question is asked "why cant you understand how i feel?" and I'd have to reciprocate, "why cant you understand how I feel?" then again, how is this understanding thingy can be balanced? who should understand who?? well, i guess, people should acknowledge that there are unique and different traits in other people that maybe they cant, they dont have to accept those traits, however, they should acknowledge the existence of those traits and respect them accordingly.
and im not perfect, im well aware of that. but confidence is such a beautiful thing~! ^_^
anyways, due to my obsession with Merlin, here is some footage of Colin's and Bradley's video diaries on the set. I SO love watching those video diaries! they're SOOO funny and cute! *fangirl mode again XD*
p.s: please watch Prince Arthur's/Bradley James' teeth X3
This is the first week of our final year of medicine. yup, final year! we're the final year medical students! a year to go to our professional exam, a year to graduating, a year to starting our career, a year to freedom? a year to the beginning of a torture?
i dunno what to feel
happy that I've gotten this far? happy that it wont be long that I'll leave college? happy that I'll start working and earning and living my dreams soon? happy that I can make myself and my family proud?
or
nervous that the workload of our study will increase significantly? stressed that lecturers are gonna have high expectations of us since we're the final year students? scared to face the super massive tough FINAL professional exam? sad that I'll leave the fun and joy of a student life? worried about the huge huge burden of our work as houseman once we start working?
or sometimes, it kinda feels unbelievable too. or surprised that time flies soooo fast. and sometimes my fear and worries grow so big that it really freaks me out, and I want to run away from all the pressure and stress. on a second thought, I can't live without medicine, I cant imagine how its like not knowing about medicine, and if I could turn back time, I wouldnt change anything about my life except scold myself for procrastinating too much XD.
yup, its all a cocktail of feelings for me.
anyways, what I'd do now is savor the freedom we're having for these first 2 weeks. then I'll go from there.
I've been watching the biggest loser and its just SO amazing that they could lose like 28 pounds in a mere week! i sooo want that! so I've been "determined" to set up my diet plan!
food: 1. no fast food! (maybe just once in 2 weeks XD) 2. reduce fried food (gotta buy an oven so i can just grill/bake instead of frying) 3. reduce carbs (remove as many white bread and rice from diet as possible) 4. eat in smaller plates to prevent over eating, and NO seconds!
and exercise! at least 3-4 times per week, at least 30 minutes each time!
I'm SO determined to lose weight! Ganbaru yo! \^o^/
tonight, I accompanied my mom while she watched TV. she was watching Bio-nik, a Malay drama about *surprise, surprise* a bionic guy, the story's kinda like Robocop, where he was involved in a gruesome fatal accident, and it turned out that his father was a neuroscience professor, so he was turned into a bionic man. minus the cop and the robotic costume. anyways, what i found both amusing and dumb is the attitudes of the students at a college (TPM college? never heard of it!) the bionic person was going to. in my college, things between the students are usually quite peaceful, tolerable and beautiful (err...not so much XD). things may get ugly between some bitches, but those melodramatic scenes are to be dusted under the carpet (who wanna care about them? let them fight and kill each other, the one left standing will be us XD).
anyways! the medical students are quite shunted from the other students of UNIMAS. we're far away from them. we dont really go to the main campus, and if we do, it would be some administrative stuff, or events like graduations. so yeah, we dont socialize much with other people, we dont really have the campus life thingy, and we're confined to our cosy little hemisphere XD.
so, do these things that happened in the drama really happened? like;
1. students wear jeans n tees, or clothes like hip hop and rock star wanna-bes 2. they use "gua" and "lu" with each other a la samseng kampung (SUPERMASSIVEMAJORYUCK!!) 3. stereotypes still exist = jocks n geeks or whatever, and they fight with each other like high schoolers. 4. students fighting irrationally and barbarically over stupid little things (usually involving the most popular and so-called beyond the world the most beautiful *unsurprisingly, education is brushed aside in those drama* girl in the college) 5. they think acting dumb and making stupid so-not-funny jokes equals to "coolness"
yeah, those are some difference that i spotted. it might just be the drama production of Malaysians are not really parallel with reality. what are they trying to tell me about Malaysian college students? what message are they trying to convey? that Malaysian students think those stuff are actually cool? that those are actually the epitome of a campus life? *vomited a bit in my mouth!!*
sorry im being a bit too harsh in criticising Malaysian drama. its just that parading dumb attitudes throughout the drama is quite unacceptable. or is it really how a campus life is in real life? i dunno. enlighten me.
