wake up call

at the time of crisis, our body responds through 2 ways: fight or flight.

like me, I found that the starting of this posting really stressful. I've chosen flight. I sulked, I mourned, I got all gloomy and negative. I tried to run away from it because I hate that I have to go to the hospital for the ward round at 7.30 am. its unbelievable that they have attendance for ward rounds?! I hate the fact that being a student (or gonna be a houseman in the future) I have to be controlled by the more powerful figures. the thing i hate the most is being controlled and not being able to get free.

but all those things, they have their own advantages, right? all clouds has silver linings, the grass is greener, or whatever it is, there will always be some blessings in disguise.

so I thought like, why am I doing this? hating, mourning, sulking, trying to run away.. they use a lot of energy and I'm not going anywhere in the end. it hurts me a lot, but i wouldnt be getting anything from getting gloomy, other than not being able to perform at my best. besides, I WILL be going through much worse situations when I start working in the future, so might as well get use to it now, right?

so yeah, lets embrace and accept that I have to take out my studying spirit thats collecting dusts in the deep dark corner, and turn it up high. I know it will take some time to really get a good grasp on stuff, it will take some time to move all those rusty gears in my brain, but I'll try my best. I will choose to fight.

what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?