Slapped, kicked and SHOCKED!!!

*sigh* today I'm so full of negativity. after like, a "honeymoon" year, plus 5 weeks of elective posting where most of the time we had fun vacationing and another 3 weeks at home lazying around and having fun with my family, plus 2 weeks of therapeutic lectures, where the days were all relaxing and yeah, oh-so-therapeutic to my lazy, super lazy soul.

and now, BAM! ObGyn posting has begun! its like a slap to the face to me, the reality call, the kick to my lazy bum, the shocking electric jolt of realness of reality, the worst Monday blues ever! they all start to dawn on me. no, no! dawning is just too slow, its kinda like the sudden ripping of a bandage on a wound, or the crash of mighty glass on the floor. its just too sudden for me. the feelings are pretty unbelievable, almost extraterresterial!!

and the only thing i looked forward to my monday is wondering what the new items for Pet Society! how sad is that??

*sigh-again* anyways, its gonna really take some time for me to adapt to this supermassive stressing situation. and yeah, Sloth is probably the biggest sin of me. well, just minus the word "probability". huu~

just now we went to the wards for introduction and orientation and stuff, and in the afternoon we had briefings about the posting with our coordinator. I was still in the denial shocked state all through the day. reality's quite a bitch! right now, here I am, with this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, thinking about all the worst case scenarios and stuff, and my chest really hurts with this heavy heavy feeling. i feel like crying but annoyingly i cant, and i cant think of any sad movies to watch so i could cry. how sad is that?? I cant even cry even when i want to! >.<

I want some antidepressants please!

huu.. I'm SO sorry for being a little over the top, I feel like this sudden change of lifestyle is really affecting me. i really, really hope i can adjust and adapt to this situation! *i can do this, im an excellent chameleon! (chant 100x)*

please, please remind me again why I'm doing this.. huhu