wow...unbelievable how time passes us!
I've finished my 4 months posting in paeds. Recalling back my first day of work....
I was soooo BLUR!
I was depressed
I was lonely
I hated kids
I hated the depressing working hours
I hated the hospital quarters
I hated getting lost in Miri all the time
I hated EVERYTHING!
then, I started adapting to the new environment. I've stopped bitching and all.
I made new friends, and I started enjoying the work (though of course, I've had the bad times)
so yeah, for what its worth, I WILL miss paeds!!
theeeeen.....I'm moving on to ObGyn!
I've ALWAYS hated that posting.
I'm dreading the moments..
I hope I'll survive my first day tomorrow! urgh
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Monday, November 8, 2010
spinning all around me!
gosh, there are loads of things happening in my life right now.
its unbelievable that its been like 3 months plus (I'm almost finishing paeds posting!) I've been here.
nobody would've believed that I could do loads of things that I couldn't or wouldn't do before, like:
1. sleeping anywhere, anyhow and anytime
(previously I couldn't sleep when sitting up, with noises, and with lights on! I previously needed the optimum place, time and condition to sleep!)
2. I could drink coffee now
3. I'm more dependent now
4. I can live alone now (like, previously I was never alone and I have my family and friends around me)
5. thanks to paeds posting, I can handle little kids now
and the sweetest change is:
I have my own income, I can spend my money as I like and I got to treat my beloved family :)
anyways, soon, I'll be joining ObGyn team (which is the posting I disliked the most in med skool!). I'll be leaving the comfort of familiarity in Paeds posting and I'm gonna enter a whole new wildlife and I need to change and adapt to the new environment.
oh, and I'm gonna have some kinda like my end of posting assessment, which is like a short case and some discussion. its pretty scary.
and I need to settle me moving into our new house. loads of packing and unpacking to do. and I cant wait to buy my own furnitures and all. I have some plans for my bedroom which I can't wait to execute, though I need to save loads of money and update its look little by little at a time.
anyways, wish me luck!
its unbelievable that its been like 3 months plus (I'm almost finishing paeds posting!) I've been here.
nobody would've believed that I could do loads of things that I couldn't or wouldn't do before, like:
1. sleeping anywhere, anyhow and anytime
(previously I couldn't sleep when sitting up, with noises, and with lights on! I previously needed the optimum place, time and condition to sleep!)
2. I could drink coffee now
3. I'm more dependent now
4. I can live alone now (like, previously I was never alone and I have my family and friends around me)
5. thanks to paeds posting, I can handle little kids now
and the sweetest change is:
I have my own income, I can spend my money as I like and I got to treat my beloved family :)
anyways, soon, I'll be joining ObGyn team (which is the posting I disliked the most in med skool!). I'll be leaving the comfort of familiarity in Paeds posting and I'm gonna enter a whole new wildlife and I need to change and adapt to the new environment.
oh, and I'm gonna have some kinda like my end of posting assessment, which is like a short case and some discussion. its pretty scary.
and I need to settle me moving into our new house. loads of packing and unpacking to do. and I cant wait to buy my own furnitures and all. I have some plans for my bedroom which I can't wait to execute, though I need to save loads of money and update its look little by little at a time.
anyways, wish me luck!
Friday, October 15, 2010
gimme a poisonous apple
.....So I can be like Snow white and sleep all day long
seriously, I miss my sleep. I wanna update about my convo last time, but it kinda feels like its old news already.
we have lots of drama going on in the ward, but I'm just too tired to tell every details.
and I'm always jealous at the babies, they sleep really peacefully in the incubator and under the warmer!
anyway, I'll update this blog again later. I'm off to bed now. tomorrow will be work again. yeah, we work 7 days a week. its really tiring sometimes. I wish I could have McDreamy to stare at at work so it wouldn't be so boring and torturing..*sigh*
and the state of my room is enough to trigger a heart attack at the sight of it. and the mess in my room would make Christina Yang proud. and my car is like, totally white with dust and there are birds droppings and whatever disgusting things sticking to it...poor Venus!
anyway, yeah, lots of things to do but all I wanna do with my free time is shopping and sleeping.... so yeah, Good night!
seriously, I miss my sleep. I wanna update about my convo last time, but it kinda feels like its old news already.
we have lots of drama going on in the ward, but I'm just too tired to tell every details.
and I'm always jealous at the babies, they sleep really peacefully in the incubator and under the warmer!
anyway, I'll update this blog again later. I'm off to bed now. tomorrow will be work again. yeah, we work 7 days a week. its really tiring sometimes. I wish I could have McDreamy to stare at at work so it wouldn't be so boring and torturing..*sigh*
and the state of my room is enough to trigger a heart attack at the sight of it. and the mess in my room would make Christina Yang proud. and my car is like, totally white with dust and there are birds droppings and whatever disgusting things sticking to it...poor Venus!
anyway, yeah, lots of things to do but all I wanna do with my free time is shopping and sleeping.... so yeah, Good night!
Sunday, October 3, 2010
a waste-of-time entry
hi.. I've been putting off writing my blog for a quite some time. hum..nothing really much to tell.
i had a busy oncall last week. an A+E MO admitted a normal baby to the ward. and I really hate to be waken up for this. yeah, I'm still grumpy and cranky in the morning. I just couldn't help it. Most of the time, I'd plaster a smile on my face, do deep breathing and praying hard my temper would just melt away. I hate poor historians, like, in my opinion, you're the mother and you didnt know anything about the symptoms? yea, yea I know, not all people are observant, but I just honestly couldnt help it. I would really try my best not to raise my voice and to really control my temper. so far I succeeded most of the time to act really bright and shiny. I know people would accept me to be not to be short tempered because waking up in the middle of the night to see patients is what I do, its my life. but its still me, so yeah, I'm cranky when I'm groggy. so yeaaa... the down side of dealing with human.
anyway, the normal baby admitted on my oncall:
Me: ok, what made you come to the hospital?
Mom: oh, my baby has fast breathing.
Me (thinking: differential diagnosis=acute bronchiolitis, pneumonia, asthma etc etc): ok, for how long has she been having this?
Mom: for a week!
Me (thinking: fast breathing for a week and NOW you just brought her in? *grumpy +*): uh, ok..is she having any fever?
Mom: no
Me: any cough?
Mom: no
Me: um...so could you elaborate more on the fast breathing? like, is it affecting her sleep or activities?
Mom: oh, she has fast breathing when she was playing too much, and if she's asleep or stayed still, she breathes just fine
Me: .... (thinking: gosh, is it just me or did that sound totally normal? did i miss anything big?? *grumpy ++++++*)
on examination, the child was active and playful, and there was no respiratory distress and lungs were clear. I was baffled. like i didnt know what to give. so i just wrote vital sign monitoring and the conservative managements. i dunno...it made me kinda suspicious and paranoid, like was I wrong, did I do anything stupid, did I miss anything and all?
also, I've been posted to paeds 2 ward last week. most of the cases are neonatal jaundice, and some oxygen dependent babies who need constant monitoring, and other infectious disease that needed quaranteen.
most of the cases transferred to paeds 2 ward isn't so serious. but the tiring thing is, the mothers are almost all anxious to go home. of course they are, I would if I were them too. but seriously, asking for the serum bilirubin for like, every hour is so annoying. and the social problem thingy is such a pain in theass neck! like this one mother who kept on asking me to discharge her because she has some post partum blues. and I kept on explaining that her baby is still jaundice and the bilirubin was still so high and it could affect the baby's brain etc etc. and I didnt have the power to discharge people and all. but they kept on pestering me and all. its really tiring.
yeah, dealing with people is not an easy job. sometimes I don't understand why they wouldn't understand, why they choose this or that, why they do this or that. guess they have their own reason and rationale that I might not understand because I'm not them. Sometimes I feel so lucky being myself. I would be really sad if I was born into someone who lives like 1000 miles away from civilization, taking care of 8 children where they all have malaria, who can't go fulfill their desires because they live just to fulfill their needs. Like they live just on survival instinct. they dont go shopping, they don't dress for the high of dressing, or couldn't tell the difference between maroon and mauve or checkers and plaids.
so yeah, being a doctor, it's really made me appreciate life more. i know this sounds a lot like a cliche crap, but yeah, I realize I'm quite lucky and yet I'm still a whiny little bitch. no I don't wear designer clothes, but I still love doing what I'm doing. though I'm really tempted to get those Prada stilettoes!!
urgh anyway! I'm rambling. even I dont understand what I'm typing about. blame sleep deprivation!
good night!
i had a busy oncall last week. an A+E MO admitted a normal baby to the ward. and I really hate to be waken up for this. yeah, I'm still grumpy and cranky in the morning. I just couldn't help it. Most of the time, I'd plaster a smile on my face, do deep breathing and praying hard my temper would just melt away. I hate poor historians, like, in my opinion, you're the mother and you didnt know anything about the symptoms? yea, yea I know, not all people are observant, but I just honestly couldnt help it. I would really try my best not to raise my voice and to really control my temper. so far I succeeded most of the time to act really bright and shiny. I know people would accept me to be not to be short tempered because waking up in the middle of the night to see patients is what I do, its my life. but its still me, so yeah, I'm cranky when I'm groggy. so yeaaa... the down side of dealing with human.
anyway, the normal baby admitted on my oncall:
Me: ok, what made you come to the hospital?
Mom: oh, my baby has fast breathing.
Me (thinking: differential diagnosis=acute bronchiolitis, pneumonia, asthma etc etc): ok, for how long has she been having this?
Mom: for a week!
Me (thinking: fast breathing for a week and NOW you just brought her in? *grumpy +*): uh, ok..is she having any fever?
Mom: no
Me: any cough?
Mom: no
Me: um...so could you elaborate more on the fast breathing? like, is it affecting her sleep or activities?
Mom: oh, she has fast breathing when she was playing too much, and if she's asleep or stayed still, she breathes just fine
Me: .... (thinking: gosh, is it just me or did that sound totally normal? did i miss anything big?? *grumpy ++++++*)
on examination, the child was active and playful, and there was no respiratory distress and lungs were clear. I was baffled. like i didnt know what to give. so i just wrote vital sign monitoring and the conservative managements. i dunno...it made me kinda suspicious and paranoid, like was I wrong, did I do anything stupid, did I miss anything and all?
also, I've been posted to paeds 2 ward last week. most of the cases are neonatal jaundice, and some oxygen dependent babies who need constant monitoring, and other infectious disease that needed quaranteen.
most of the cases transferred to paeds 2 ward isn't so serious. but the tiring thing is, the mothers are almost all anxious to go home. of course they are, I would if I were them too. but seriously, asking for the serum bilirubin for like, every hour is so annoying. and the social problem thingy is such a pain in the
yeah, dealing with people is not an easy job. sometimes I don't understand why they wouldn't understand, why they choose this or that, why they do this or that. guess they have their own reason and rationale that I might not understand because I'm not them. Sometimes I feel so lucky being myself. I would be really sad if I was born into someone who lives like 1000 miles away from civilization, taking care of 8 children where they all have malaria, who can't go fulfill their desires because they live just to fulfill their needs. Like they live just on survival instinct. they dont go shopping, they don't dress for the high of dressing, or couldn't tell the difference between maroon and mauve or checkers and plaids.
so yeah, being a doctor, it's really made me appreciate life more. i know this sounds a lot like a cliche crap, but yeah, I realize I'm quite lucky and yet I'm still a whiny little bitch. no I don't wear designer clothes, but I still love doing what I'm doing. though I'm really tempted to get those Prada stilettoes!!
urgh anyway! I'm rambling. even I dont understand what I'm typing about. blame sleep deprivation!
good night!
Thursday, September 23, 2010
my 2 month anniversary~~
21 september -> OMG, its been 2 months since I started housemanship @ paediatrics, Miri Hospital.
its quite a long time, right? I still feel quite new sometimes..hehe..time flies too fast!
anyways, looking back for the past 2 months, I know things had not been easy for me. I regretted going to Miri. Like, why did I choose Miri? my reason was, I wanted to explore new environment and kinda like a new beginning to me. turned out its not as easy as I thought. lots of adaptations and changes needed to be made, lots of stupid mistakes, lots of self-doubt and confidence-suicide, all in all, lots of bad memories (bad physically, emotionally and psychologically)
But, I guess, there were lots of good memories too. I had my stockholm syndrome and started enjoying work here. I still hate my mistakes, but I learnt to accept that as a new doctor, mistakes are part and parcel of the learning process, its unavoidable. I learnt team work and I learnt to kinda like kids.
So yeah, I'm quite ok now.
Oh, yesterday was my on call.. It was a pretty cold night, figuratively and literally. I had fun. hehe
its quite a long time, right? I still feel quite new sometimes..hehe..time flies too fast!
anyways, looking back for the past 2 months, I know things had not been easy for me. I regretted going to Miri. Like, why did I choose Miri? my reason was, I wanted to explore new environment and kinda like a new beginning to me. turned out its not as easy as I thought. lots of adaptations and changes needed to be made, lots of stupid mistakes, lots of self-doubt and confidence-suicide, all in all, lots of bad memories (bad physically, emotionally and psychologically)
But, I guess, there were lots of good memories too. I had my stockholm syndrome and started enjoying work here. I still hate my mistakes, but I learnt to accept that as a new doctor, mistakes are part and parcel of the learning process, its unavoidable. I learnt team work and I learnt to kinda like kids.
So yeah, I'm quite ok now.
Oh, yesterday was my on call.. It was a pretty cold night, figuratively and literally. I had fun. hehe
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