Why people get excited about the new year? its just waking up to another day, right?
and people are raving about 20.12.2012
I think the celebration is because we all crave for a new start, so we try to find the reason for a new beginning.
my resolutions? I just wanna be better. In whatever.
Physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, fashionably (yessss!)
The quest of finding myself is neverending.
So yeah, hope we're able to find whatever we seek for. Even if we didnt get what we originally want, I hope the journey will make us get whatever we need!
Welcome, 2012!
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Thursday, December 22, 2011
my dreamland, my own
yessss... I'm a dreamer.
I just loooove to dream...
whenever people telling me long, boring stories
in a boring meeting
in a boring presentation
while walking
while driving
while sleeping...
I just love it.
I dream about...
fashion...alwaysss thinking of themes and styles that I'd love and like to try on
couture...owning couturiere stuff, and shopping at like, Saks Fifth Avenue like nobody's business
interior design...like how to decorate my car/room/house or even designing my own future dream house!
travel...to other places, meeting cute guys in snow..hahaha
fantasy...like having wings, i love black feathery ones, kinda like a dark angel, and flying around
and the other dreams, like
revenge....crushing the face of someone I hate, pushing them off cliffs, or setting a hungry vicious Rottweiler on them, errr...dont get me started
people make over...like imagining the people in front of me with different styles and clothes, what should be changed, what should not be worn in public eye etc.
crazyyy...like, if i was stuck in a situation that i'd really like to get out of...i started to dream that if I could, I would be a transforming werewolf...like i would be all like, "i dont wanna change", "someone stop me!" but...there nothing anyone can do, and i keep transforming, claws growing out of my nails, fangs popping out my teeth, i'd get all furry and fury, trashing around, destroying all the things in the midst, glass shattered, walls rumbling down, floor shaking, people running and screaming around, maybe i could catch someone or two (maybe that boring person who made me start daydreaming, or someone i dislike)....... oh yeah, that was fun, wasnt it?!!
so yeah, when life gets hard, I love to run away to my dreams land, where everything is just right!
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Eclipse watch @ 10/12/11
hum...just wanna write about the yesterday's lunar eclipse.
TOTALLY amazing!!
My friend, kunnoe, invited me to come with some nature lovers to a place to watch the eclipse.
its really fun because they have all these fancy telescope.
like, I could totally see the crates on the moon! Just lovely.
Oh, and the place was quite far from Miri, about 30mins drive. at first I was kinda like, apprehensive, because its a long ride on a dark, lonely road. but the view was totally worth it!
its kinda like at a cliff overseeing a beach.
the beach was awesome! the waves were crashing on the sand violently, the wind was magnificent, we were bathed by the pure moon light.
i think its one of the most beautiful views everrrr!
TOTALLY amazing!!
My friend, kunnoe, invited me to come with some nature lovers to a place to watch the eclipse.
its really fun because they have all these fancy telescope.
like, I could totally see the crates on the moon! Just lovely.
Oh, and the place was quite far from Miri, about 30mins drive. at first I was kinda like, apprehensive, because its a long ride on a dark, lonely road. but the view was totally worth it!
its kinda like at a cliff overseeing a beach.
the beach was awesome! the waves were crashing on the sand violently, the wind was magnificent, we were bathed by the pure moon light.
i think its one of the most beautiful views everrrr!
 |
| this is jupiter! my 1st time seeing it~ hello, jupiter! |
 |
| my bff, Kunnoe...thanks for the great time! :) |
Friday, December 9, 2011
Etiquettology of borrowing
I would like to believe that common courtesy is the primary rule of harmonious living.
I would like to believe that it still exists.
I am very particular about my stuff, my belongings. I'd like to be owning them with happiness inside my personal space.
Therefore, I really, REALLY hate it! when people borrow aka use my stuff without my permission. You'd think "eh, logically speaking, they should ask before they borrow something"
But yeah, logic doesnt really co-exist all the time with the thing named human.
Like,
I hated it when my sisters borrow my clothes
I hated it when my housemate used my bedroom to sleep in when her family came
I hated it when I wanted to wear some shoes, then, oh, somebody borrowed it
I hated it when people use my car.
without asking me first.
I'm so sorry, I love you guys to bits, but this is really my pet peeve, and its really annoying. But I find it hard to tell logically thinking people, "hey, I found out you worn my shirt the other day. why didnt you ask first?". and when my housemate told me "hey, I used your room to sleep in the other day, because my family came and they slept in my bedroom. and thank god, you forgot to lock your door, or I couldnt have taken advantage of your forgettery stupid brain" oh well, she didnt really say that, but really, I felt like I have been used like a nobody without any respect. and I really hate conflicts..and sometimes I just let it be but my heart was raging with wrath.
Its not like I'm possessive or stingy with my belongings. I dont mind lending my clothes, my room, my shoes, my car to someone, but, like, HELLO, its COMMON COURTESY to ASK FIRST! I'd love to think that, once I own something, I would have the luxury to use it whenever I want, without figuring out that I cant use it because someone has used it without telling me first. and most important and the biggest deal of all, its a sign of RESPECT towards me. respect that you acknowledged me as the owner, respect that you know I'll be nice enough to let you use my things, respect towards anything I own, that I have put my best efforts in choosing or taking care of. Please, RESPECT ME.
Its kinda hard sometimes, because I usually arrange my outfit with a holistic approach. and if I cant wear THE shoes, I have to re-arrange the whole ensemble. I dont mean to sound so vain, but its just me.
Anywaysssss....asking permission, just say, "can I, please?" (yes, I really love it when people care about the P's and Q's)
Am I too scary to ask from? (FYI, I dont bite. really.)
Is it too much to ask??
yesss...its common sense...I've written a blog about it here, but thats a different story I guess :P
I would like to believe that it still exists.
I am very particular about my stuff, my belongings. I'd like to be owning them with happiness inside my personal space.
Therefore, I really, REALLY hate it! when people borrow aka use my stuff without my permission. You'd think "eh, logically speaking, they should ask before they borrow something"
But yeah, logic doesnt really co-exist all the time with the thing named human.
Like,
I hated it when my sisters borrow my clothes
I hated it when my housemate used my bedroom to sleep in when her family came
I hated it when I wanted to wear some shoes, then, oh, somebody borrowed it
I hated it when people use my car.
without asking me first.
I'm so sorry, I love you guys to bits, but this is really my pet peeve, and its really annoying. But I find it hard to tell logically thinking people, "hey, I found out you worn my shirt the other day. why didnt you ask first?". and when my housemate told me "hey, I used your room to sleep in the other day, because my family came and they slept in my bedroom. and thank god, you forgot to lock your door, or I couldnt have taken advantage of your forgettery stupid brain" oh well, she didnt really say that, but really, I felt like I have been used like a nobody without any respect. and I really hate conflicts..and sometimes I just let it be but my heart was raging with wrath.
Its not like I'm possessive or stingy with my belongings. I dont mind lending my clothes, my room, my shoes, my car to someone, but, like, HELLO, its COMMON COURTESY to ASK FIRST! I'd love to think that, once I own something, I would have the luxury to use it whenever I want, without figuring out that I cant use it because someone has used it without telling me first. and most important and the biggest deal of all, its a sign of RESPECT towards me. respect that you acknowledged me as the owner, respect that you know I'll be nice enough to let you use my things, respect towards anything I own, that I have put my best efforts in choosing or taking care of. Please, RESPECT ME.
Its kinda hard sometimes, because I usually arrange my outfit with a holistic approach. and if I cant wear THE shoes, I have to re-arrange the whole ensemble. I dont mean to sound so vain, but its just me.
Anywaysssss....asking permission, just say, "can I, please?" (yes, I really love it when people care about the P's and Q's)
Am I too scary to ask from? (FYI, I dont bite. really.)
Is it too much to ask??
yesss...its common sense...I've written a blog about it here, but thats a different story I guess :P
Saturday, November 26, 2011
all eyes on me
errr...nah, not in a good way, actually.
well, I just joined the anaest department for my 5th posting.
I've done paeds, ObGyn, ortho, surgery.
Now, anaest, then medical to finish off my housemanship.
today's the 7th day of anaest posting.
hum...its kinda different for me. because its not like other ward-orientated work I've done before. now, works are mostly done in the OT... n there are loads of procedures; premeds, drugs to dilute, then to the anaest stuff like spinal/general anaesthesia etc etc.
I hate the drugs part. I'm not used to diluting drugs and all that. the staff nurses do that in the ward. and my math is not that good, like I can't really count that fast in my head, like the doses and stuff. and loads of pharmacology crap load.
and I have to learn how to use the ventilator machine thingy, and the monitoring screen which has like thousands of numbers and grafts of the patient's vitals and ventilation setting thing. and physiology of breathing and all that also.
and all the other stuff like helping to set up the patients, and running around taking stuff...making sure everything is ready for the patient and the next patient.
and sometimes i got told off for just standing there, or standing where im not supposed to. like, forgive meeeee, i have not done this before.
dont get me wrong, I like some of the people in the new department, especially the anaesthetists, they were really cool and calm. and also, of course, wherever you go, there will be just some people who will step on you or irritate you, well, just someone who's not your cup of tea.
I really hate it when people are just looking at other people's mistakes, and not appreciating the improvements in your progress or your learning curve. so yeah, at first, I feel like its a motivation, like I need to do better and prove to them that I'm good. but time and time again, I would get shut off and shoved some more, its just really tiring to keep the optimism. I just dont wanna give a damn about other people. I'm gonna do everything for ME. not going to make other people happy. I will do it just for ME and for MY own satisfaction. everything else is freaking WHATEVER!
so yeah, I've been working from 7am-10pm for a week now. its freaking exhausting. how can they expect me to memorize the drugs doses and dilutions, and all the pharmacology stuff when my brain is fried? I honestly have doubts about this posting.
well, I just joined the anaest department for my 5th posting.
I've done paeds, ObGyn, ortho, surgery.
Now, anaest, then medical to finish off my housemanship.
today's the 7th day of anaest posting.
hum...its kinda different for me. because its not like other ward-orientated work I've done before. now, works are mostly done in the OT... n there are loads of procedures; premeds, drugs to dilute, then to the anaest stuff like spinal/general anaesthesia etc etc.
I hate the drugs part. I'm not used to diluting drugs and all that. the staff nurses do that in the ward. and my math is not that good, like I can't really count that fast in my head, like the doses and stuff. and loads of pharmacology crap load.
and I have to learn how to use the ventilator machine thingy, and the monitoring screen which has like thousands of numbers and grafts of the patient's vitals and ventilation setting thing. and physiology of breathing and all that also.
and all the other stuff like helping to set up the patients, and running around taking stuff...making sure everything is ready for the patient and the next patient.
and sometimes i got told off for just standing there, or standing where im not supposed to. like, forgive meeeee, i have not done this before.
dont get me wrong, I like some of the people in the new department, especially the anaesthetists, they were really cool and calm. and also, of course, wherever you go, there will be just some people who will step on you or irritate you, well, just someone who's not your cup of tea.
I really hate it when people are just looking at other people's mistakes, and not appreciating the improvements in your progress or your learning curve. so yeah, at first, I feel like its a motivation, like I need to do better and prove to them that I'm good. but time and time again, I would get shut off and shoved some more, its just really tiring to keep the optimism. I just dont wanna give a damn about other people. I'm gonna do everything for ME. not going to make other people happy. I will do it just for ME and for MY own satisfaction. everything else is freaking WHATEVER!
so yeah, I've been working from 7am-10pm for a week now. its freaking exhausting. how can they expect me to memorize the drugs doses and dilutions, and all the pharmacology stuff when my brain is fried? I honestly have doubts about this posting.
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