poor kid poor parents

it was our clinic afternoon. we were quite having fun, playing with the kids all laughing and smiling. then came in that baby boy. He looked small for his age, even non-medical personnel can tell he's thinner than normal infants. His mother brought him, a very thin woman, age at most, my age (I think, because she's wearing a shabby old-looking National Service t-shirt). He was wrapped in an old, soiled, worn towel. The mother told Dr. Andy that he had been vomiting everytime he feeds, and today he had diarrhea. Its kinda obvious we were quite surprised to watch how negligent a mother can be, like the child has not been fed, because all the milk intake was vomited out! and for a week! thats like dog weeks for a baby! and upon examination, the baby was quite dehydrated, with no tears upon crying and dry oral mucosa despite good skin turgor. and the poor baby's clothes were stained with his stool and urine.

Then, Dr. Andy told the mother and father (came in later) that the child had to be admitted for IV fluid infusion. Being ignorant on how severe their baby's condition was, the parents seemed reluctant to admit the child, mainly the dad being so stubborn, making lots of excuses like he has no time coz he's got work, its far, the grandfather wont let it etc etc, it took quite some time to persuade them to finally admit the child to the ward.

Apparently, this family came from a lower socioeconomic status. Its sad that such condition still exist in Malaysia. Family who is poor, with loads of children, leading to more negligence, and parents with no education, who dont really know/care about their children's education, leading to school drop outs, leading to no job/low salary jobs. Those people need to know that to break the poverty vicious cycle, they need to get proper education! Education does not only bring money, which is really important nowadays as the standard of living grows higher and higher (seriously, money makes the world go round), people with education is usually respected and put on a higher social class.

Oh gosh, what am I preaching here?! I guess I'm just hoping that those people can wake up and face reality, because I really can't imagine living in such difficult environment, where you actually have the choice to change your life in the first place. Life is all about making smart choices, baby~

and ME! please choose to study. study like there's no freaking tomorrow! medicine is your passion, its science about human being, its understanding the human body, its the study of the awesomeness of our body, the disease and changing the course of evil nature by treating them. science, that I love so much. come on, me! please study! like FREAKING NOW, please!!! *crazy!*

going to the battle

well, thanks to the realistic and superb CG of epic battle scenes in LOTR, it has really made me feel like I was in there. it made me kinda wonder,

like, how does it feel to prepare and go for a battle? for a war?

Do you feel scared?
Do you feel empty, rid of all emotions and ready?
Are you ready to accept that death is an option?
Are you ready to sacrifice yourself to protect your land or people?
Are you ready to swing your blade or shoot your arrow to those orcs and evil people?
Can you defeat your enemy?
Can you be defeated?
How long can you last before someone strikes at you?
How does it feel to die in honour?
Will we win?
Will we lose?

Its kinda scary isnt it? (Well, for me, anyways) The feeling of going to the battle, to your death. Though if you're pretty invincible like Aragorn or Legolas, will you feel really confident? and like to face and fight the really disgusting and scary looking Orcs or Uruk-hai or trolls who like, kill then eat you? I'd like to be the wizard though, if I was Gandalf, I'd definitely use lots of magic to defeat the enemies.

Anyways, yeah, enough being in the fantasy world! I wouldn't want to feel those fears. We should appreciate our freedom and independence more.

awesomeness of THE one ring

hi! just wanna update that I've gotten better from my illness. just some minimal abdominal pain, no more fever, vomiting and such. I've also regained my appetite back, thus gaining back my energy which is really great because being dehydrated and feverish really weakened me. health is something we can never take for granted!

anyways, I've also have just finished watching the greatest trilogy ever made, the movies that wrote the definition of "epic" in the dictionary~ Lord of the Rings!! Gosh, I love LOTR so much, I've seen it countless times, and I still gasp at the surprises and saddened at the death of Boromir and Haldir and other people. The trilogy is just too amazing. Its perfect, from the sound to the graphic to the characters(from the awesome beauty of the Elves, to the disgusting ugly you-can-smell-the-stink-through-your-screen orcs), all made to perfection. love the architectural of the elven dwellings, I might want to corporate the designs into my future home. heck, I want the Ring to be my wedding ring XD
*sigh* I really just love LOTR, no one shouldn't miss watching this in their lives.

my dearest Legolas~ I love his archery skills and I just love the way he is always clean and glowy even in the middle of the epic battle *sigh*

Incapacitated

Got sick again! its been a long time since I've been this sick. It feels really terrible. I was totally incapacitated. My senses, my movement, my thoughts, all feel like I was in a slow motion. Making me feel lazy to move or do anything. I havent eaten anything because I feel all nauseous looking at food. Have been drinking water and isotonic drink to replace all the fluid.

Last night was the worst night ever, I could not sleep at all. Now I feel kinda better and hope I will get better SOON!

Aidilfitri memento

Hi there, we're still in the month of Syawal. So, Selamat Hari Raya to all muslims. its the day to celebrate our success after fasting, and also to ask for forgiveness from each other.

Forgiveness, when you mean it, when you regret the wrongs that you have done and when you want to reconcile with someone, you ask for forgiveness. its easy to say something thats meaningless, and when you really mean it, you'll feel the happiness the moment the other someone accepted your apologies. its quite a touching moment.

My raya celebration was really blissful. I've celebrated it with my parents and beloved family which I'm usually far from. Sure, our family is not perfect, and we have crises, but my love to my family is endless, especially to my parents who have made PRICELESS sacrifices for all of us. its really sad that some children have selfishly taken their parents for granted. its unbearable. I like to see things from different perspectives, like, from the victim, from the culprit, from the police etc etc, but I couldnt seem to understand the point of view from children who couldnt appreciate their parents, good parents who love and care, who are the very essence of their existence and who have supported their life. but human in general are weak, some children fell into peer pressure and all, thus forgetting all there is about family and life value. all they think about is themselves. they never learn to put themselves in their parents' situations, they just wanna have fun, they dont care if they're hurting other people. selfishness, irresponsibility and narrow-minded, a mixture of a stupid and weak mind. and a stupid person will never say they're stupid, thus bringing awareness to them is a tough work. all we can do is give them advice, hope they can understand and realize and pray for them to change.

and religion, why is religion important? because it sets rules for human ever so weak morals. I'm not saying atheists are immoral people. but I believe religions are like the core and mould in forming an individual. the rules are made for good reasons, they're always to bring benefits to the religious worshiper, and to prevent bad things from happening. different religion has different rules, but all in all, the rules are made for that same reason of protecting humankind. believing in god brings peace and confidence to any religion worshipers. we pray because we're thankful that we're alive, we pray because we're grateful of everything good we have in life, we pray for strength to go on hardship, we pray for forgiveness of what we did wrong and regret, we pray for a better future for ourselves and people we love, we pray for good things to happen and bad things to not happen in the future that we cant control. we pray for a lot of things from our Creator. we are insignificant beings in this whole universe. thats why we have to search and find the meaning of our existence.

anyways, in this Raya spirit, I'm still having a little bit of homesickness. I miss my family and my house so much! I'll never stop loving my parents and I will do my very best to make them happy. I appreciate what they have done to me since I was in my mother's womb, I cant think of anything that is even close to repaying all their sacrifices for me and family and I thank god for giving me the awareness and guidance. I love you mom & dad! you're THE best of THE best!

also, in this beautiful month, I really want to start to change to be a better person and a better Muslimah, yeah I've broken some rules and all, I'm not a good Muslimah at all. so from now on, I'm trying to improve myself little by little. so, I hope I can improve and be better in everything there is in life.