post holiday paradox

I just got back from Labuan! My parents and I are sending my little sister, A'in to Labuan Matriculation College (LMC).
Its really fun and enjoyable. I love being with my family, being just another human than a lifeless houseman. Besides, its with my family that I can just be me, the real me.

So, Friday evening, I rushed back home from work, packed my clothings and my housemate sent me to the airport. Its such a joyful moment when I saw my little sis and parents. God knows how I miss them soooo much!

then we went to Labuan, reached there around 9pm. We stayed at Mariner Hotel. its a pretty okay hotel there (since Labuan is full with small, small hotels). Then, everyday was really hectic. We had to go shopping for my sister's matriculation things. then, we had to shop for souvenirs to bring home. then, we had to shop for ourselves~ shopping with my mom's really great! I got a rm100+ Italian silk cloth for just rm65! her bargaining skill is really amazing! hehe

then, when we reached LMC, its really nostalgic!!! the lecture halls, and the tutorial rooms, they all remain the same..just a minor changes here and there with the cafes, and the ageing of the hostels.. the matrix really brought back memories.

but the change is the kids nowadays. strolling with iphone, laptops and netbooks.. I remember 6-7 years ago, I was using nokia 3310, with no laptops or internet. we're still using diskettes for our assignments and we have to queue up to use internet and computer in the library. lucky kids nowadays!

I'm a more of a family kinda girl, so I love being around my house and my family. I remembered feeling homesick whenever I left home. its a really tough thing to adapt whenever I'm far away from home. then, upon saying farewell to my little sis, I couldnt help but to shed tears because its just really sad.

then, we shop for some more, then went back to Miri today. I feel kinda sad when sending my parents to the airport. I really miss them soooo much. their presence really calm me down and de-stress me.

view from the entrance!

in front of the library!

with dear A'in

Bas wajib budak2 KML!

now,  I just feel really sad, because of the drastic change... the happy, care-less holiday, ended up abruptly and now I have to go back to the harsh reality of stressful work. I have a full blown blues right now. cant believe I'm almost 25 and I still have homesick like I was in secondary school. maybe sometimes, some part of you just wont grow up, huh?

keep your enemies closer

I love the saying coz its true....

keep your friends close, and your enemy closer...

-so you can choke them in their sleep
-so you can slip poison in their drinks
-so you can kick them in the balls
-so you can claw their eyes out
-so you can push them off a cliff
-so you can *insert malice things here*

sorry for this hate-ridden post. currently I'm just so full of hate. oh, and anger. anger is like oil poured to my burning hatred. there's always someone we'd all hate. I dont understand. why cant we just live in peace (rather than wishing people to rest in peace).

its just that things arent going so good nowadays, and you dunno where to turn to because the person you're pouring your hearts out might blind side you and all. I just CANT TRUST ANYONE! its like a Survivor game. its crazy.

anyway, im going out with my family this weekend. i hope I will be better later.
my poor little heart is sooooo filled with profanities right now....lemme just pour one out.

I FUCKING HATE YOU (to whom it may concerned)

God, please forgive me..so, thats all, bye!

Party poopers

it sucks, ne? when  you're having fun, enjoying and relaxing. then...some bitch came and screw everything around, stepping on EVERYBODY's toes, pointing fingers and blaming everyone on every little stupid things.

kinda like,
Bitch: why are you wearing leather shoes? dont you know cows are getting extinct?
Me: eh, those are not leather shoes, and cows are blooming all around the world
Bitch: eh...no no NO NO NO! cow's are getting extinct NO matter what. because I said so
Me: but.....
Bitch: no buts! what I said is what I said! and its ALL your fault that the cows are getting extinct!
Me: but....
Bitch: NO! COW'S ARE GETTING EXTINCT AND ITS ALL YOUR FUCKING FAULT!
Me: *thought* F U!

Moral of the story: NEVER argue with idiots.

I want more

U see, my life's actually pretty boring.

When I was younger, I always dream about travelling around the world, and living in a bustling big metropolis.
Wearing couture clothes, walking down the lane with fashionable people along fashion boutiques. Oh, my dream house was kinda like, an apartment overseeing the city (probably on the 30th floor) with a huge glass window, decorated in a modern x classic theme.

and I'd love to dine in a fine dining restaurant (especially when I just watched Hell's Kitchen!). and I've always imagining me, playing in the snow, wearing lovely coats and boots. then meeting guys in romantic scenes like in the movies and all those ooey gooey love stories.

but now I'm stuck here. being bored. my dreams remained being dreams. reality sucks! I'm just a plain Jane. I do get self conscious and insecure sometimes. and of course, in those times, I'd envy people (e.g. Gossip Girls) and couldnt help but to wonder "if only I was like her"

and what should I do about that? I guess I need to manage my finance better. And I need to be more ambitious, and I need to further my studies. I must grow up more.

fragile people

Life is so fragile... I just heard a news that a doctor (my senior from UNIMAS), has passed away. He drowned when he tried to save another drowning person at a waterfall. He was a nice guy, a really nice guy. I remembered him signing our logbooks when we're medical students. and we could just ask him about anything. even though I wasn't that close with him, it just feels kinda sad that someone you know, who's really nice, has passed away.

sometimes death scares me. like, how does the person feel? how do the people they left behind feel?

also, like the patients in the ward. accidents happened, even a small wound can get infected really bad, causing septic shock, and people can die from those little wounds. a guy got bitten by a rat, and his finger turned gangrene. a woman, pricked her finger with prawn head during washing prawn, got really bad infection. a small prick from fish bone, or a small insect bite would later cause abscesses and all the nasty stuff.

and those young patients who had really bad road traffic accidents, who suddenly just turned paraplegic and all that.

kinda makes me paranoid to be extra careful with every little trivia things. wallahualam.

folliculaphobia

antagonism of folliculaphilia (A women who is only attracted to men with a mustache - How I Met Your Mother)

not really phobia of mustaches or anything, I just don't like men with facial hair, especially those crazy stuff. then again, as everything else, it all depends on the overall style and attitude i supposed :P