hi~ Liyana desu~
as my title said, I dunno why, maybe it was the exam just now, maybe I've over exerted myself over badminton, maybe I was sleep deprived...
maybe its the world circling around me...
thus, gloom washes over me. I resent everyone around me. I resent their acts, their words, almost everything.
I was just sitting alone..I think somebody did/said something inappropriate, when the thoughts downed on me about the people around me.
Ignorance is bliss? Deceive is to protect people?
That is what most of people around me do. Not everyone, just I've experienced loads of this bullshit in my life. even people who claims to be my friends. I reaaaally HATE it. when they concealed the truth, honest stuff just so someone wont get hurt, just so their reputation is not ruined. they dont express their opinions because they're afraid to be laughed at, or to get mad at.
and some stupid people act like they know everything and disrespect others' opinions. leading to unexpressed opinions, them pretending they agree on something they're not, then misunderstanding comes, thus leading to unnecessary fights/argument.
so this is so much a lose-lose situation.
and i hate it when everyone being someone they're not. I hate it when people do stupid stuff just to look cool, or laugh at unfunny jokes just to "fit in" the cool group. HELLO~ this is NOT high school!!!!
and i hate it when people pretend to be all good, rainbowish, butterflyish, flowerish, angelish, sunshineish, fluffy clouds on the blue skyish happy ALL THE TIME. they dont express their feeling when they're mad or upset (unlike me, thus many people said i'm intimidating :P). god, i've even been labeled as "BAD" because i said something that i was not happy with!! (where is the democracy or whatever the heck it is in this small world of mine??!) its like i can just have some fun time with my friends, but i cant tell them my problems coz they wont understand coz they have perfect family and perfect life, so an imperfect life of someone like me, they'd just look puzzled and surprised as if its the weirdest thing in the world that someone would face such problems and start saying inappropriate things which really would make me more depressed than before telling them. then it'd end up with my problems not fixed and i'd be feeling worse than ever. so i've stopped telling them anything thats wrong with me.
I feel like I'm gonna blow off with anger, but my energy is too much drained, so the sadness of why I was being born/being placed in this place drowned me. maybe other parts of malaysia, its different. but i dunno why... were we brought up to be so inexpressive/introvert/to conceal all bad stuff/to pretend everything's ok when they're not? why is it hard for those people to accept other's opinions, or opinions that contradict theirs? why is it they think there is all sunshineish happyish when someone can be unhappy? why cant they understand that they are being immature and idiotic? WHY??
the only time i can be completely free with other people is when im with certain members of my family and a friend or two. thats why its so depressing, coz everyone of them is so far away and when i feel like talking with someone about something unspeakable to people here, i'll just sit and think of whom I can talk with, but in the end, feeling lost, lonely, angry and sad. baka janai??!
now that i myself feel better after expressing all this...i wonder how am i gonna face those people without thinking how ignorant they are?
am i being too emotional? am i the one who's wrong here coz i dont understand them? am i the one who's afraid to open up to people? i wanna know how the world is on their perspective, but i dont think i can grasp how narrow they think. i dont think i can change this damaged world around me, and i hope i wont be like them. i just dont wanna turn into one of them!
yup, that is all of my unspeakable melancholic thoughts~
2 comments:
First and foremost: If someone has an opinion different from yours, he or she's clearly stupid.
That is the #1 rule of ignorance. Many people, myself included on occasion, feel like what we know is right, so if someone else knows something different... it must be wrong!
That, however, is ignorance. What would be correct thinking is...
"This person thinks differently than I do. Is he right?"
Follow that thought by comparing your two ideas-- whose idea really is better?
If you still believe yours is right, then you could either say "Dude, uh... I think you're wrong, lol" or just chuckle and say nothing. It's possible if you said "You're wrong" then he'd say "WTF I'M RITE UR WRONG" and so shutting up is much, much easier.
With that said, it's time to ask yourself this question: Am I ignorant? And don't just think "No I'm not" or "Yeah I am," because that's ignorance in itself-- Stop, think, and be honest to yourself... Am I an ignorant person? Then you'll have a better chance of knowing if you're ignorant or not.
If you're ignorant, then you don't exactly have rights to say someone else is ignorant. If you're not ignorant, then that means it's more acceptable to say someone else is ignorant-- though even then, it'd be wise to think about what you're saying before speaking evil of someone.
"when they concealed the truth, honest stuff just so someone wont get hurt, just so their reputation is not ruined. they dont express their opinions because they're afraid to be laughed at, or to get mad at.
and some stupid people act like they know everything and disrespect others' opinions."
Concealing the truth so someone won't get hurt...? That seems kinda wise to me, conditionally-- If I knew someone who killed his friend years ago while playing a game, and he regrets it like crazy... I wouldn't talk openly about it-- I might even lie about it, because it's something he regrets and is sensitive about.
Of course, it's possible he's lying so he won't get hurt even though things would be better if he told the truth-- that's ignorance there.
Once again, ask yourself: Is this person being ignorant or caring by lying?
Not expressing his opinions because Bill might get laughed at isn't exactly a bad thing-- It's possible he was made fun of when he was younger, and it's come to be a sensitive spot. It's still possible, though, that he's just being immature and overly sensitive. You'll need to ask yourself, once again, if he's being immature-- and be sure to put yourself in his shoes too, otherwise you might be looking at it from an "ignorant" viewpoint :D
Acting like you know everything and disrespecting people's opinions-- Generally, a sign of ignorance. It could be Alice does know everything about astronomy, and can instantly ignore someone's suggestion because she knows it's wrong. That's not ignorance, it's closer to wisdom-- minus love though, which can be part of wisdom.
No one knows everything though-- so acting like she knows everything when Alice only knows everything about a single subject would be ignorance.
"...they dont express their feeling when they're mad or upset..."
Once again, that might be a wise decision. If a girl hated being laughed at, but she aaalways cried while watching romance movies, she might not express her feelings to avoid being laughed at.
That can still be immaturity, though-- whether the girl's being immature for crying and worrying about how people will look at her, or whether her friends are being immature for laughing at her is open to debate :3
"am i being too emotional? am i the one who's wrong here coz i dont understand them? am i the one who's afraid to open up to people? i wanna know how the world is on their perspective, but i dont think i can grasp how narrow they think. i dont think i can change this damaged world around me, and i hope i wont be like them. i just dont wanna turn into one of them!"
I'll bet you are being narrow-minded. And I'll bet I am too-- for example, when it comes to ways a game works, I can be entirely open-minded and instantly put everything together. On the other hand, someone might say "That game's stupid, this game's better" and I narrow-mindedly say "nowai grow sum brainz lol."
What I don't know is where I'm being narrow-minded and where I'm being open-minded-- If I knew, then maybe I wouldn't be so narrow-minded!
...And after I read this post, I feel ignorant... tym to grow sum brainz lol.
(I clicked on the post button, but nothing's changed on your blog-- I'll post again, and sorry if this rather long comment is on there twice)
I HAVE put myself in their shoes, thus made me thought about this thoroughly. I didnt simply thought "omg, he's wrong and thats stupid!". I thought about it, for a long time, for a lot of time.
this is happening to me for a loong time, a lot of time. and last night, i thought this is just so stupid i cant bear it, so i wrote em down.
and trust me, all the things they lied, concealed, unexpressed..is much less serious or uncomplicated stuff that what you've mentioned. you rly think i wont understand in some circumstances lying, concealing is acceptable? I lie/conceal stuff from them coz they never intend to understand me/my problems. This is what that made me feel angry about it.
hurt me, rip my heart apart if its the truth. its better than pretending to be happy all the time when the truth is actually hurting. this is reality, i dont wanna live in a fantasy dream land where everything is happy ever after.
yes, i might be over-reacting. its just i cant stand being in so many ignorant beings.
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