Malang tidak berbau

I woke up this morning, thinking yesterday was all a bad dream, that I shouldn't be waking up at my Miri home, when I should've arrived at Mukah yesterday. but I can still see the event clearly.

It was a nice, sunny day. Well, it all happened when my family (mom, dad, ida) drove in our Kembara to Miri to pick me up. we were happily started driving back to Mukah, around 2pm. We put some Raya songs on the player, and I was wearing my beloved Gucci shades. We snapped some photos with my new digicam. We chatted happily. It was all happy and dandy. then it started raining. and driving through Sarawak roads is already a challenge itself without adding the rain factor. then around 3.30pm, it happened. the worst 5 seconds of our day! there was a motorcyclist riding in front of our car, when he wanted to make a turn, our car slowed down and tried to brake, but the slippery road kinda cancelled out the brake. it was crazy! it happened so fast! I was at the passenger's seat, and I saw everything, the moment our car hit the motorcycle, the impact, the motorcyclist being thrown back to the windshield in front of my face, then thrown to the side! we stopped the car, and I ran in the rain towards the man. he was lying face down in a dry ditch beside the road, not moving. and the scary part is when my dad, who's usually keep a cool head, had a look on his face and said out loud, "oh no, there wont be any Raya for us this year"

the villagers all started coming towards the accident site. women were crying and screaming. the men were yelling, some angry at us, some concerned about the man. my dad tried to explain, but some remained angry, accusing us of carelessness. then the ketua kampung came, and there was some talking and then the crowd calmed down a bit. it was crazy! I was concerned about whether the man was still alive or not, when I heard another villager said "you're gonna pay for all the damage to the motorcycle!"

I saw him breathing and there's no blood anywhere. Ok, I thought, he's alive, but I couldn't rule out any spine or head trauma. or he could have intraabdominal injury and internally bleeding. about 1 minute later, the man kinda woke up and sit up by himself. the ditch was pretty shallow, so I jumped into the ditch. he was alert and orientated. he denied any loss of consciousness, headache and all that. he said he's breathing fine and there was no pain other than at his left shoulder. i could breathe easier at the moment. then we helped him up and brought him to the nearest clinic, where I assessed him more, and from the look of it, he just sustained some bruises and abrasions at the left shoulder and left back. then I escorted him to Miri Hospital in an ambulance (its my first time being in an ambulance!). In the clinic and ambulance, we talked, and he's a nice man who didn't even blame us about the accident, and just thankful that everyone's ok. met my MOs in A&E, who examined him further. Xray was clear. patient was discharged home with some analgesics.

Our car was a wreck, I think the battery's gone coz we cant even start the car. so we went home to my Miri house and settled everything. Its very sad that I'm still stuck here when tomorrow's Raya. the aftermath of the accident is still felt among my family members. lots of "what if"s and "I wish I didnt"s. but I guess what happened, happened. and we just have to be positive about it and just grateful the god allows us to breathe in this world still.

well, Happy Hari Raya to all! Hope this Raya brings us all happiness, and drive safely!
XOXO

retail overdose

I swear shopping is my absolut drug.

I went out to buy this:

I came back with these:

 

and this isn't my worst case yet.

well, of course, the shoes are essential for my work, since I've been using the same shoes for like months now..and I HAVE to update my wardrobe, and the Elle watch is just SOOO lovely, its a really good investment.

I swear I had to literally hold my tongue from saying "I'll take the hot pink VAIO netbook too!!!" Its soooo tempting though, I might get it some other time, since I need some netbook for me to carry around.

Although, I really hate the way the collections of shoes and clothes in Miri shopping complexes ALWAYS stay the same! snore! and the salesgirls are SO effing rude, mostly, and I had fun messing the folded clothes just to get my revenge!! :P

Anyways, I have had my happy moment today~ and I love my new digicam!! *happy*

birthday and anniversary~

20th July~
My anniversary: 1 year being a houseman in Miri Hospital~

1st posting: Paediatrics
OMG, its really hard to adapt to the hospital system. A change from a mere medical student to a working houseman, is a HUGE change! All the heavy weight of responsibilities towards your patients, responsibilities towards yourself to improve your knowledge and skills. I remembered being kinda depressed and all, and of course, the thought of quitting comes once in a while. There is always something that will "kill" you; a patient, a nurse, a fellow houseman, an MO, a specialist. But, its all a learning process. It is hard at first, adapting to the wild environment. Patients always come first, no matter what. Sometimes we went without food or water, even time for wash room, just for the patients. We work 24/7.. and weekends off and leaves are SOOOO precious!
I guess, chanting "what doesn't kill you make you stronger" will help sometimes. lol

"Meredith Grey : I can't think of a single reason why I should be a surgeon, but I can think of a thousand reasons why I should quit. They make it hard on purpose... there are lives in our hands. There comes a moment when it's more than just a game, and you either take that step forward or turn around and walk away. I could quit but here's the thing, I love the playing field" 

3nd posting: ObGyn
OMG! One of the busiest posting EVER! and its really scary, because we always dunno whats really going on in the womb of a mother. When a CTG goes bad, or a mother has PV bleed, its a scary experience. But, the nurses and my colleagues, also the bosses are mostly helpful, so its quite a fun posting for me, despite it being the infamously the busiest posting ever!

3rd posting: Orthopaedics
Its kinda okay for me. Its quite relaxing at times, but it can get REALLY busy too (like a massive road traffic accidents). I don't really like this posting, to be honest. Maybe I'm not interested in ortho. And, since its, kinda like conquered by males, there are loads of dirty jokes and all that, sometimes they got really ugly. lol...anyway, I love most of my colleagues HOs there, we went through quite a lot, being supportive of each other and all that...and the nurses are super nice. We're like Best Bitches Forever. God, I love bitching with them!  lol..but I'm really glad I've successfully done with this posting.

4th posting: Surgery
Okay, its just 1 week since I've joined surgical department. Its quite fun. Things are really organized. The bosses are super nice. And I love learning all the medical stuff... I really love it here..and I hope it will stay pleasant! :)

and its my 25th birthday on the 21st July!

OMG, I'm 25! but nothing special though~ Just feeling content and grateful for this 25 years...hope all the years ahead of me will bring me good stuff and hopefully I will continue to improve myself and all that.

home home

Just got back from the really needed 1 week leave! I went back to home in Mukah.. I've really missed my home and family!

Anyway, I've been so stressed and depressed. All the negative things are really taking their toll on my life! I hate the demoralizing moments, all the days spent feeling useless and under-appreciated. All the fun from learning sucked out of our souls. All the superiority-inferiority-complex tearing us apart. All the bitchiness scarring our hearts. I hate all the moments when I dreaded EVERY single day. when everything gave me the reason to hate waking up in the mornings. the things they said, done, not-said-but-said-behind-us. Just..everything..that made me hate life! I hated everything. I hate seeing their faces, I hate listening to their talks, I hate looking at their pretentious act! God knows how much I hate them! I can't help but feel glad that everything's over. Nothing can be worse than that... lol, I hope!

So, I'm really thankful for the leave. meeting with my family's really refreshing, and I just love relaxing at home. Aya, my lovely niece, is getting cuter! though, she's really naughty too..So, I love playing with her, but she kinda reminds me that I'm not ready for kids! lol

and tomorrow, new beginning! I'll be starting in Surgical department of Miri Hospital, and tomorrow's the 1 year anniversary of me being a houseman! 1 year of housemanship in Miri hospital. Hope I can have strength to finish the other year of my housemanship~

I Miss netball!!

I played netball last Saturday... Its been like..1 year plus since I last played.

It was kinda fun...though I kinda lost my touch a bit.

And, we lost! *sob sob* Only managed to get the 4th place.

And I'm honestly a sore loser.

I just love to win. Like, who doesn't???

I don't give a damn about "kalah menang adat perlawanan"

I just love to win.

Unfortunately, we didn't... my heart broke into several pieces..

lol, anywhoooooo.... I really miss my old netball team.

A team where everyone knows everyone's moves, and the game is just smooth and fun.

Oh well, I now just wanna play more netball! Its really nostalgic! >.<