birthday and anniversary~

20th July~
My anniversary: 1 year being a houseman in Miri Hospital~

1st posting: Paediatrics
OMG, its really hard to adapt to the hospital system. A change from a mere medical student to a working houseman, is a HUGE change! All the heavy weight of responsibilities towards your patients, responsibilities towards yourself to improve your knowledge and skills. I remembered being kinda depressed and all, and of course, the thought of quitting comes once in a while. There is always something that will "kill" you; a patient, a nurse, a fellow houseman, an MO, a specialist. But, its all a learning process. It is hard at first, adapting to the wild environment. Patients always come first, no matter what. Sometimes we went without food or water, even time for wash room, just for the patients. We work 24/7.. and weekends off and leaves are SOOOO precious!
I guess, chanting "what doesn't kill you make you stronger" will help sometimes. lol

"Meredith Grey : I can't think of a single reason why I should be a surgeon, but I can think of a thousand reasons why I should quit. They make it hard on purpose... there are lives in our hands. There comes a moment when it's more than just a game, and you either take that step forward or turn around and walk away. I could quit but here's the thing, I love the playing field" 

3nd posting: ObGyn
OMG! One of the busiest posting EVER! and its really scary, because we always dunno whats really going on in the womb of a mother. When a CTG goes bad, or a mother has PV bleed, its a scary experience. But, the nurses and my colleagues, also the bosses are mostly helpful, so its quite a fun posting for me, despite it being the infamously the busiest posting ever!

3rd posting: Orthopaedics
Its kinda okay for me. Its quite relaxing at times, but it can get REALLY busy too (like a massive road traffic accidents). I don't really like this posting, to be honest. Maybe I'm not interested in ortho. And, since its, kinda like conquered by males, there are loads of dirty jokes and all that, sometimes they got really ugly. lol...anyway, I love most of my colleagues HOs there, we went through quite a lot, being supportive of each other and all that...and the nurses are super nice. We're like Best Bitches Forever. God, I love bitching with them!  lol..but I'm really glad I've successfully done with this posting.

4th posting: Surgery
Okay, its just 1 week since I've joined surgical department. Its quite fun. Things are really organized. The bosses are super nice. And I love learning all the medical stuff... I really love it here..and I hope it will stay pleasant! :)

and its my 25th birthday on the 21st July!

OMG, I'm 25! but nothing special though~ Just feeling content and grateful for this 25 years...hope all the years ahead of me will bring me good stuff and hopefully I will continue to improve myself and all that.

home home

Just got back from the really needed 1 week leave! I went back to home in Mukah.. I've really missed my home and family!

Anyway, I've been so stressed and depressed. All the negative things are really taking their toll on my life! I hate the demoralizing moments, all the days spent feeling useless and under-appreciated. All the fun from learning sucked out of our souls. All the superiority-inferiority-complex tearing us apart. All the bitchiness scarring our hearts. I hate all the moments when I dreaded EVERY single day. when everything gave me the reason to hate waking up in the mornings. the things they said, done, not-said-but-said-behind-us. Just..everything..that made me hate life! I hated everything. I hate seeing their faces, I hate listening to their talks, I hate looking at their pretentious act! God knows how much I hate them! I can't help but feel glad that everything's over. Nothing can be worse than that... lol, I hope!

So, I'm really thankful for the leave. meeting with my family's really refreshing, and I just love relaxing at home. Aya, my lovely niece, is getting cuter! though, she's really naughty too..So, I love playing with her, but she kinda reminds me that I'm not ready for kids! lol

and tomorrow, new beginning! I'll be starting in Surgical department of Miri Hospital, and tomorrow's the 1 year anniversary of me being a houseman! 1 year of housemanship in Miri hospital. Hope I can have strength to finish the other year of my housemanship~

I Miss netball!!

I played netball last Saturday... Its been like..1 year plus since I last played.

It was kinda fun...though I kinda lost my touch a bit.

And, we lost! *sob sob* Only managed to get the 4th place.

And I'm honestly a sore loser.

I just love to win. Like, who doesn't???

I don't give a damn about "kalah menang adat perlawanan"

I just love to win.

Unfortunately, we didn't... my heart broke into several pieces..

lol, anywhoooooo.... I really miss my old netball team.

A team where everyone knows everyone's moves, and the game is just smooth and fun.

Oh well, I now just wanna play more netball! Its really nostalgic! >.<

Negativo

Humm...I don't understand people who's very negative! Like, people who are really judgmental, and love bitching maybe a little bit tooooo much!

okay, like, simple and usual example.
you work your ass off, EVERY single day, also covering for Sir Kissass-a-lot who has not been doing anything, but could get away with it, well, because, you know what.
then one day, you come late because you had to poop, because you have food poisoning really bad.
and your coworkers would be like

A: omg, that lazy son of a bitch, he ALWAYS takes any chance to not do work!
(then bitches B, C and D get reaaaally excited once a target is acquired!! they're practically lactating from all the hormonal and emotional imbalances)

B: OMG, A, seriously!! he NEVER does ANY work AT ALL. You know lah kan, he's from Kampung Oren. The people there are ALL lazy
(usage of totally unrelated and bias statement)

C:  I KNOW he's sitting around, drinking coffee at some kedai mamak. CONFIRMED!!
(usage of a totally presumptuous fiction)

D: org gemuk mcm tu, of coz la berak banyak!
(this one is just to bitch the bitchee's character)

etc. etc.

God! I really can't stand those kind of bitches. Who are overly negative the sight of their faces trigger the nausea part of your brain! And their eyes and ears are like scanners to detect any available target to bitch about.

I love bitching, but I don't look for any reason to. If I bump into someone that has given me the reason to bitch, I'll bitch. Otherwise, I like to remain happy and free and positive.