keep your enemies closer

I love the saying coz its true....

keep your friends close, and your enemy closer...

-so you can choke them in their sleep
-so you can slip poison in their drinks
-so you can kick them in the balls
-so you can claw their eyes out
-so you can push them off a cliff
-so you can *insert malice things here*

sorry for this hate-ridden post. currently I'm just so full of hate. oh, and anger. anger is like oil poured to my burning hatred. there's always someone we'd all hate. I dont understand. why cant we just live in peace (rather than wishing people to rest in peace).

its just that things arent going so good nowadays, and you dunno where to turn to because the person you're pouring your hearts out might blind side you and all. I just CANT TRUST ANYONE! its like a Survivor game. its crazy.

anyway, im going out with my family this weekend. i hope I will be better later.
my poor little heart is sooooo filled with profanities right now....lemme just pour one out.

I FUCKING HATE YOU (to whom it may concerned)

God, please forgive me..so, thats all, bye!

Party poopers

it sucks, ne? when  you're having fun, enjoying and relaxing. then...some bitch came and screw everything around, stepping on EVERYBODY's toes, pointing fingers and blaming everyone on every little stupid things.

kinda like,
Bitch: why are you wearing leather shoes? dont you know cows are getting extinct?
Me: eh, those are not leather shoes, and cows are blooming all around the world
Bitch: eh...no no NO NO NO! cow's are getting extinct NO matter what. because I said so
Me: but.....
Bitch: no buts! what I said is what I said! and its ALL your fault that the cows are getting extinct!
Me: but....
Bitch: NO! COW'S ARE GETTING EXTINCT AND ITS ALL YOUR FUCKING FAULT!
Me: *thought* F U!

Moral of the story: NEVER argue with idiots.

I want more

U see, my life's actually pretty boring.

When I was younger, I always dream about travelling around the world, and living in a bustling big metropolis.
Wearing couture clothes, walking down the lane with fashionable people along fashion boutiques. Oh, my dream house was kinda like, an apartment overseeing the city (probably on the 30th floor) with a huge glass window, decorated in a modern x classic theme.

and I'd love to dine in a fine dining restaurant (especially when I just watched Hell's Kitchen!). and I've always imagining me, playing in the snow, wearing lovely coats and boots. then meeting guys in romantic scenes like in the movies and all those ooey gooey love stories.

but now I'm stuck here. being bored. my dreams remained being dreams. reality sucks! I'm just a plain Jane. I do get self conscious and insecure sometimes. and of course, in those times, I'd envy people (e.g. Gossip Girls) and couldnt help but to wonder "if only I was like her"

and what should I do about that? I guess I need to manage my finance better. And I need to be more ambitious, and I need to further my studies. I must grow up more.

fragile people

Life is so fragile... I just heard a news that a doctor (my senior from UNIMAS), has passed away. He drowned when he tried to save another drowning person at a waterfall. He was a nice guy, a really nice guy. I remembered him signing our logbooks when we're medical students. and we could just ask him about anything. even though I wasn't that close with him, it just feels kinda sad that someone you know, who's really nice, has passed away.

sometimes death scares me. like, how does the person feel? how do the people they left behind feel?

also, like the patients in the ward. accidents happened, even a small wound can get infected really bad, causing septic shock, and people can die from those little wounds. a guy got bitten by a rat, and his finger turned gangrene. a woman, pricked her finger with prawn head during washing prawn, got really bad infection. a small prick from fish bone, or a small insect bite would later cause abscesses and all the nasty stuff.

and those young patients who had really bad road traffic accidents, who suddenly just turned paraplegic and all that.

kinda makes me paranoid to be extra careful with every little trivia things. wallahualam.

folliculaphobia

antagonism of folliculaphilia (A women who is only attracted to men with a mustache - How I Met Your Mother)

not really phobia of mustaches or anything, I just don't like men with facial hair, especially those crazy stuff. then again, as everything else, it all depends on the overall style and attitude i supposed :P